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Two Obstacles to Being Shy Free

okay so now I know the root of my shyness and self consciousness,or atleast what I do,to make it harder for myself. I second guess myself and dont try.

 

so one time my Sifu (my martial art teacher) takes me and this other guys and tells us its our lucky day hes going to make me cry. its almost like an inside joke with my sifu and I.

(because one time he was asking me to show him what I have learned up to now and when I was doing that a few times I would say "oops" or "darn" and dwell on my mistakes and he told me not to do that and under the pressure I turned away and began to cry, he reapeted a few times for me to continue so I resumed what I was doing and before I tried to wipe my tears he said don't worry about them,they will fall to the ground and wash the floor) one of his "break" me session,he is now trying to "crack" my shyness.

anyhow..

so now me and that guy my sifu calls us to the couch and he sits down with one other seinor as me and the other guy stand up. now this is another one of those "break" me sessions so I get all stiff and nervous,specially when he tells me he will be asking us questions. the rule was just to TRY. a given you get points for the right answer and for atleast trying and none if remaining silent. so basically no second guessing ourselves.

I,most of the time remained silent watching the other guy make mistakes and atleast trying despite how nervous he was. and one  of the question he asked that I yet again was reluctent to try even though I had an answer the other guy got it wrong and my Sifu desided to ask me and when I shyly answered he said I got it right but it didn't count, he called it a double loss.

not hard to tell how this second guessing myself does cause me to be shy as well as cuts my self-esteem no dought those two are tied (shyness and self-eteem)

 

I am now on a plateau of figuring out how to not second guess myself...easy...just don't hestitate and think "oh im not sure if im right or "oh im probably wrong" and just TRY.

 

but just the same , I would like to know what others think. what would you do if you had the same obstacle as me?

BelleRaven BelleRaven 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25, 2009

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I have the same problem too...At school it's really hard for me to have those group conversations or answering the teachers questions. Even when i know the answer it's difficult just raising my hand and answering...I always think i'm probably wrong or then i'm just too shy to answer. As much as i try to go to class and be more active i always just freeze whenever i've got an opportunity to share my knowledge with the rest of the class. It's all in the mind and due to fear...the fear of the shy...you have to try and get passed the fear and, as you say, just try because in the end it doesn't really matter if you're wrong. It's not easy but it's worth trying.