Too Hard To Get A Job....

It's hard even to get a job, especially if its one where i have to see people all the time. I cant look at them in the eyes and i get so nervous i forget what they are saying or what i am saying. i get so scared i cant hear anything. i take meds for social anxiety but i honestly dont think they do anything. im too shy to talk to a doctor about it too get better meds. sometimes i wonder if i will ever live a normal life.

i get so lonely i want to go out and meet people but i know i will never have the courage to do it. ive never been to a bar or party or anything.

Mothmilk Mothmilk
22-25, F
2 Responses Nov 29, 2009

I know how you feel. I finally found work where I don't see but a few people and for the most part it's wonderful. I make a good living without the social tension. I think if you are in an industry not known for socail skill the presumtion is that you will be as you are now. if you have a good day or get comfortable it is a plusss$$, but not required.<br />
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You are young and you will find yourself. There are a lot of people like us.

Im that way too. People always tell me to go out and have fun you cant lock yourself away from the world and so forth. Its frustrating cause I dont like to be around people. Its hard to get a job when every time in the interview they say well tell me about yourself and they expect to hear something good. Well I always say well I dont know what to say about myself. I really dont. Or when I do have a job everyone just upsets me so easily and Im sorry that idiots annoy me, why is it my fault they are idiots. <br />
I used to cut myself and became the talk of the town and it was just retarded, lost all my friends, lost my job from being unstable, lost my house, no one would hire me. I seem to have become the outcast of society.<br />
I dont talk to people well, I dont have anything important to talk about and most people will just talk about stuff that has no importance or relevance to me at all as well. I get nervous, my voice is horrible when Im nervous sounds like Im gonna cry for some reason. then I focus on how my voice is then miss all of the conversation and then wonder what they were talking about then miss my "que" to speak in return. <br />
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Well anyways I know how it feels to be out numbered and casted out from everyone to the point that not one person would give you a chance because of the way you talk, act, feel, and think differently than they do. Hopefully I will build some confidence up and learn to be a better more outgoing me. But until then... "Hi, How are you?"