I'm Shy Because I'm Afraid...

This is my first story and it's taken weeks of contemplation to actually write it up, but I figure I may as well start somewhere... and this seems like the perfect group :)

Everyone that knows me labels me as shy and quiet, cute and sweet and the odd time I got stuck up and rude(this would usually be from someone who had never met me before and mostly when I was younger), my whole life I've been this way.  I would never voluntarily raise my hand in class and presentations gave me the jitters, I would rarely speak unless spoken to and heaven forbid if someone ever confronted me with anything more than happiness.  I have many many aquaintances but I don't let many people close to me. I don't know how to properly express myself and it worries me in social situations so it's easier to keep quiet.

I'm afraid because I don't want you to see who I think I am, I'm not comfortable with myself.  In reality my shyness covers up these insecurities. I don't feel like I have anything to contribute to a conversation, so I don't talk. I fear judgement so I keep thoughts to myself and the worst of all is a fear of being wrong.

There is one thought that keeps me going though, stronger than I would be able to if I allowed myself to receed into the depths of my mind and sadly I only learned it not too long ago. I figure if I remember this it will help me to be all I want to be despite being so shy. 

I don't want people to see in me what I see in myself, so I choose to see in myself what others see in me.

Loveli Loveli
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

i liked rosabella25s comment because it made me take a look at how a group of people oppisite from myself cope with a struggle. i say i am of an oppisite group because i am a very outgoing, friendly and talkitive person. i am not at all what anyone would call shy. i am in fact the complete oppisite and i have never even conidered how frightning and intimidating being a shy person might be. i like it when a conversation provokes me to think of others feelings. i believe it helps me to better live by the golden rule. thank you ladies very much for being brave enough to explore your own insecurities in such an open forum. i wish for the both of you that you see what amazing women are and use that to boost your self confidence. i think that my own self confidence is the reason i am so bold and outgoing. sometimes i have to dig deep to find it but i always try to wear it on the outside. self confidence, the new must have accessory for ladies. get some wherever you can. if you cant find just hit me up ill let you have some. sometime i think i have too much. lol.

That was like reading about myself! lol I was painfully shy until I had my daughter and she forced me to have to talk to people... I am still shy but it doesn't scare me as bad. I realized that a lot of people are like me and If I initiate a conversation I usually find that they are open and really do want to talk to me! It is really hard to be shy, and outgoing people just don't understand :/