Painfully Shy

I am also really shy even when it comes to making online friends its like a can barely say a thing and even though no one knows me personally I still feel that social wall in cyber space. I was always really this way took me a while to be comfortable around people, then I was me and fun. The friends I had in school where basically the same people from kindergarden to high school I made maybe 2 new friends that started off as friends of friends. Now when I have to actually leave the house its always alone and I never go any where that requires social interaction because im socially stunted. I at times think its to late to make any new friends I know its never to late but thats just what my shy mind thinks i've waited to long im alone. I have the social skills of a scared mouse or cockroach that just runs off when people approach. I really am trying to work on this but easier said than done.

I am at the moment basically a shut in unless its abosulutely nessessary for me to go out. Even then I feel the social anxiety hovering over me the entire time.

I want to change this and I want to go out and have fun and not be afraid of talking and enjoying other peoples company.

Natemares Natemares
31-35, M
2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

I am exactly the same way. It's awful, it's ruining my life being this way. It's hard to live your life being scared of people and socializing because that's what life revolves around! I've been this way all my life I must say. Can never keep a conversation going, all I can do is laugh, giggle, reply with a simple ok, yeah, really? It's hard to make any friends or keep anyone around. Everywhere I go, anything I do I do it with me and myself. It's effected my school and work life. But you know what helped me a little though is working and making some crazy friends lol..really they were literally psychos! We would go out get really drunk and you know alcohol gives you courage! going to clubs and met many people, although not very good ones. If you have a friend, go somewhere where there's lots of people and with opportunity to actually interact with others and get to know them. Or is there anything you are really good at? Put yourself into a place where your talent will be recognized.

You say you're shy, even online, but you're posting here. That's a great start!<br />
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I have been introverted my entire life too, and dealt with constant social anxiety (still do) but one thing that helped me some years ago was discovering IRC, and roleplay channels. Being able to live "other lives" really brought out a side of myself that amazed me maybe more than anyone. Online I was assertive, brash, funny, and (gasp!) popular. All the things I'm not in real life. My main, favorite character to play was a brazen warrior so I guess the whole persona just exuded from me. (I think I loved the battles a bit too much...but what a great stress-reliever for someone who usually turned anger inward...)<br />
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Nowadays I think online games with multi-pla<x>yers are more popular, and of course you've got all the cool visuals too, which we didn't have back then. <br />
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Anyway, you might consider exploring some of those "safer" options where you can explore leaving your shyness for a time through the safety net of the anonymous web roleplay games...you'll make online friends, which may one day turn into real-life friends, as mine did. Oh, and another unexpected bonus is that you'll learn to type really fast...:)