This Is Who I Am

There's something going wrong inside of me. I can feel it shifting things around, changing them, making me different from how I was, how I'm supposed to be. I feel the pain of it all constantly. It seems like every day there is a new pain. Some days, I am consumed with the thought of it, the idea of dying so early. There are so many things I will never be able to do, places I will never be able to see.

But more often than that, there are days that I feel so connected to whatever this is. It has become me, it has become part of who I am. I'm afriad if I were to be cured, I would become a different person. That thought, above everything else, scares me. We are supposed to be who we are, right? That is why I refuse to get treatment for whatever this is. I don't want it to change me. Is that wrong?

unenergetic unenergetic
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 22, 2009

maybe you already know but your just scared to admit it or face up to it?