Sick Of Being Like This

I am sick of feeling like crap all the time, battling depression and anxiety. Nothing I do seems to be helping, eating right and exercising, I still feel like a bag of crap, I still feel totally exhausted, sleep or no sleep. I feel pain all over my body, my joints, my neck and shoulders, constant discomfort, I feel nausea when I eat and I have been losing weight which makes me feel even more weak, I try to eat as much as I can but I feel hungry all the time, sick and tired.

Sometimes I just want to go into a coma so I don't have to deal with this daily struggle. I always feel like I am in a dream like state, nothing feels present or real to me. I am trying so hard, but it doesn't leave my head. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe not, my doctors have tested my blood and stuff and everything always comes back normal. Being a hypochondriac doesn't help either. I always feel my heart beating in my chest, pain all over my body, weak in the knees, even when I eat right and work out. It seems the stronger I try to make myself, the weaker and more tired I get.

When I move out and start school again, I'm hoping things will get better, but if not, I'll probably seek out therapy even though I can't afford it, I just feel like whats the point anymore? I don't want to die but I don't feel like I am living.

I'm just so tired.