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Exhausted

It seems anytime a site asks me for my mood, I put "exhausted."

I am just not happy with my life as it is right now. There are things I want to do, places I want to go, people I want to meet...

But for now I am kind of stuck in my job, stuck in this house.

My goals for the next year and a half (until my wedding!) include saving up the majority of my income and being able to pay for my wedding and have a nice down payment for a house. No sense in wasting money on rent.

So I still have goals, which means I don't plan on checking out of this life any time soon...

But things kind of suck.

I always expect things to be one way and they are not, and I end up disappointed, but I guess another goal of mine should be to lower my expectations.

Anyway, knock on wood, I rarely am the "sick" part of sick and tired, so I'm just tired of being tired.

I can't control the situation, just what I do with it - what I make of it.

 

ladyloves ladyloves 22-25, F 5 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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Never LOVER your expectations! Let life rise to your standards..Why are you so tired? Don't live life as "I WILL BE HAPPY ONE DAY" Tomorrow is NOT promised. The present is a Gift, receive it and thank it. By being HAPPY NOW! God bless you. Sherri

Thank you all for your comments. It has been hard for me to find things I truly love. I love singing, and I know that. So much so that I wanted to make a career out of it. And maybe it's fear, cowardice, I'm not sure, but I feel as though I gave up on it as a career. That's okay though because I still sing, I LOVE choral music and want to join a choir again. I also want more than anyone can understand to be a mom. I had the chance earlier this year but I didn't feel as though I could provide it the life I thought EVERY child, not just my own, deserved. <br />
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So things right now are sad for me. Instead of being thankful I have been hired in a time when most people are losing their jobs, all I can focus on is how badly I hate the job.<br />
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I am sick of feeling sorry for myself when I have a lot to look forward to. I feel like I have given up on everything that used to once make me happy. <br />
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My job does offer counseling, so I will be looking into that. I don't think it can hurt anything, and it's free counseling. Maybe talking more will help me unlock the things I do love and can help me move on from the things holding me back. <br />
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Thank you again. And Grandpa, you rock!

My advice, for what it's worth, is to find the one thing you love and focus most of your attention on that. And things one can love are as varied as there are things. With me, it's movies. I spend every free moment watching movies. I spoke with someone recently who pushes shopping carts around at a retail store parking lot, normally you'd think that's a job anyone would hate, but this guy loves it. He loves being outside, he enjoys the exercise, and he doesn't mind living at the bottom of the food chain. When he's not pushing shopping carts, he's at the library. Plus, he's figured out how to eat well on $15 a week, and a free clinic takes care of his medical needs, within reason. He wears second hand clothing and his goal there is to stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer. He's happy, and I suspect he's happy because he's chosen just a few things to focus on. Everything else falls into place behind that.<br />
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I also chatted with an elderly lady who cooks at Burger King. She's been at the same store for years and most of their customers know her and that's why they go to that particular Burger King. She takes great pride in crafting each order with precision and great care and that source of pride is where her happiness comes from.<br />
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There's a cab driver I ride with. He lives in his cab 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. He opens the door for you when you get in, and, if you're coming from the grocery store, he helps you carry your groceries inside. He loves a robust conversation and some of his regular customers bring him sandwiches and coffee. He lives in a small room and has mastered the art of crock pot cooking so he always has a hot meal waiting for him when he finally arrives home.<br />
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At my work, we have a young lady who is wheel chair bound with CP. She answers the phone and directs the calls. Even though she's in pain most of the time, she takes pride in what she does. She tells me being productive, even in a small way, makes her happy.<br />
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Yes, there are lots of people who are sick and tired but these are people, I think, who spend a lot of time wishing things were different instead of just playing the hand they've been dealt. I know making the most of things sounds like an over simplification but it works.<br />
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Within your life, there are always a few small things you can do that will make all the difference in the world.<br />
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I have fibromyalgia so I never feel good. However, I'm so immersed in watching movies I'm rarely aware of feeling bad. Consequently, I'm always in a good mood. I have a job that allows me to make a positive difference in the lives of others, it pays almost nothing, but I'm ok with that. I'm also bumping up against the end of my life but I never focus on that. I just take one day at a time. Plus, there are just so many movies out there and I intend to enjoy as many of them as I can, while I still can.<br />
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I remain open to love, compassion, understanding, and tolerance. I am my brother's keeper. It doesn't get any better than that. And tomorrow will be another day.

i am sick tired of sick tired. Sit here and not doing in thing.<br />
i am going to applieted for this job and I am hopeing i get it.<br />
it will get me out of here every day .<br />
i think i am ready to go to work.<br />
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So good luck ladyslove<br />
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Lashanda