Update- There Are Still Holes to Fall Through When You Hit Rock Bottom

So any of you who have been following my story know that my life has gone to hell in a purple sequined handbasket. I have had to move out of my fiancee's house, and moved in with my mother. I have been having a lot of problems with my job, they keep wanting to fire me.

So, I have been down at the Mayo clinic for the last couple weeks. They havent found a whole lot, but they did agree to give me a hysterectomy. I am so excited!!! Given that I am on day 76 of this "period" and that I have been having a lot of pain and problems over the last 12 years I am so ready to have it gone.

We have ruled out all of the really "dangerous" things. Im not dying (yay?), I dont have cancer, but other than that I am a "normal" 23 year old. Yeah... My hands are curled like a 90 year old lace maker from Italy, I cant lift a bowl without my biceps giving out, every time I take a shower I have to sit down to shave my legs. I am a "normal 23 year old".  So it is starting to look like Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS , or some other arthritis based disease. The frustrating thing is I keep testing negative for everything!

The other side is, I have gotten sick and tired of my work trying to fire me over this, so I quit. We are going to try and get me short term disability for the hysterectomy, but I think today is my last day. I am too tired of jumping through hoops, and it really isnt personal. They need a full time healthy person and I am not that right now. So I am leaving on pretty good terms, they will probably hire me back if I get healthy and/or get my degree in Biology. But still, this is the second job I have lost because of my messed up body.

I am still so tired. I havent slept through the night in over 12 weeks. I am tired of reading, too sore to knit, typing is starting to kill, and there isnt a whole lot left but watching movies. I want to run again! I want to be at work! I cant even walk long enough to take the dog out for a decent walk either. I keep screaming inside my head *Im 23 not 80!! This isnt supposed to happen!*

On Monday I have a stress test, so maybe they will see some of the really debilitating movement and its effect on my body and come up with some answers. In the mean time, wish me luck, please! I need as much as I can get.

Kiss Kiss

kalistasadi kalistasadi
22-25, F
Feb 14, 2009