I Am Done With All Of It.

I sit here crying my eyes out because life seems to hate me. Making eveyone hate me because I made one bad choice in life. Everyone see's me as such a happy teenage girl when I go home everyday and cry my eyes out. Cut myself make myself throw up because I think I am fat because I don't feel pretty. I don't feel like the people I am friends with like me at all. It's almost like they just put up with me because if I didn't have those "friends" I would probally not be around. Everyday I go home and tell myself nobody likes me, and after awhile you start to believe what those voices are saying to you. Saying you're fat, you're ugly, everyone looks at you like your a worthless piece of trash and they treat you like it too. How do you try to explain to someone that you don't want to go in life anymore. People don't seem to understand that I really do hurt I really do go home and hope that this time I will cut to deep or take my sleeping pills and every wake up ever again. How I would love to go to sleep and have all this pain and hurt go away!! How I wish I could start all over. A new life and new start with everything. Mabye I can go somewhere and not be that girl that everyone thinks is a huge s**t because she made one mad life choice! Mabye I can go somewhere and be that sweet horse girl I want to be. Be someone my parents can be proud of! They are always fighting. It usally starts off with me and gets into something bigger then they fight for hours. Have you ever fallen alseep to the sound of glass breaking? To the sound of your little brother crying because mom and dad are fighting? I need to get away. Get away from it all. But there is no where to go. :(