Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

So Sick Of Being Single!!


I feel like the universe must be trying to teach me a lesson or allow me to reach some sort of goal or something.  I mean there has to be a reason why I am still single.  I am a nice person.  I am very attractive (not vain, just trying to paint an accurate picture). I workout and have an average-nice body.  I am not superficial and wouldn't mind if my man had a few extra pounds so long as he were healthy.  I have three degrees and numerous licenses and certifications.  I have my own business.  I am not materialistic and I don't have a crazy list that a man has to meet in order to be with me.  I am really just an educated country girl who people just don't get. 
Even though I have had some negative experiences (as recently as today), everyday I wake up thankful and blessed and try to live each day better and brighter.  It is sometimes draining being me.  I give so much in my professional life, but get so little in my personal life.  Even though on the outside I am successful, on the inside I feel like a failure.  I have failed to do something that even the simplest person could do; maintain a relationship.  What the hell is wrong with me?
newdayeveryday newdayeveryday 36-40, F 11 Responses Jun 24, 2010

Your Response

Cancel

Firstly let me just say that most men are intimidated by strong women. I know this because I am a guy and married a very strong woman. There are fewer traits that I personally find more attractive than a lady that knows what she wants so my wife had the opposite effect on me. By the sounds of it you have high energy levels and paired with your confidence in yourself this projects out to guys and they become intimidated. For guys who are yet to get their egos under control, you represent someone who is more capable than them in some very key areas. Ability to earn money and the desire to take charge. They don't want to go up against someone who is more of a man than they are, figuritively speaking. When you meet a guy let him take care of you and ask him to do things for you even though you are more than capable of doing it yourself. We are truly simple beings cursed by the stupidity of our egos. If you're really lucky you'll meet one that has his under control. I hope this helps.

I am a 44 year old African American female..educated, attractive,,,,but short 5'0...I have one son 9, own my own business...middle class...but for the life of me...I can not sustain a relationship to save my soul....I know I am picky...but wanting a man who can enunciate his words...and have a little personality...is that asking too much? I don't need any one to pay my bills or be a father to my son...I meet these dudes...who at 43,, are working minumim wage jobs....I frequent the book stores...I joined the gym, took up skiing, and still no real relationship...Met one guy...but he is so freaking boring...I am so scared of turning 50...and not having a partner...At this point I don't have to have the marriage...I just want someone I can travel..go out to dinner with, and share some laughs...Is that too much to ask for????

I was in the same place in my 30s. I know how hard it is to find a suitable mate. But don't give up! It's important to continue putting yourself "out there" and meet as many new people as possible--the more you meet, the more likely you are to find someone who is right for you. Think outside the box and be open to all avenues of meeting new people. Trust me, you will have a much better chance of finding a relationship if you are proactive and look for one. The idea that "the best way to find a relationship is to NOT look for one" is totally FALSE. Mr. Right isn't going to just drop into your lap.<br />
<br />
In my case I had some old baggage that was preventing me from having a healthy relationship. But I did some work on myself through the twelve-step program of Co-Dependents Anonymous and dealt with my issues.<br />
<br />
Mostly, I didn't give up and I eventually found what I was looking for. It happened for me, and it can happen for you. I wish you well!

Make a list of things you want to do, and places you want to go. Buy a calendar and place each thing on a date.. Whether you have someone to go with or not just go.. Dress up and have a good time. You may meet someone who likes the same things you do. You seem like an independent woman and understand it's okay to make the first "Hello how are you doing" If you get to know them you can always end it just as easy if you are not feeling them. Life is short. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results so flip the script.

i don't say anything sympathetic to u.if u want to solve this..then just read the book 'The Secret'. It will definitely help u..Have a good day...

I SO FEEL YOUR PAIN. I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE FATHER FOR FIFTEEN YRS. I HAVE OWNED BUSSINESSES. IM A VETERAN. MY CHILDREN ARE ALL MOVING ON AND I NOW DONT HAVE A CLUE TM WHAT TO DO NOW. I HAVE A LOT TO OFFER THE RIGHT WOMEN AND SO WISH TO FIND HER. IVE NEVER BEEN A SMOOTH TALKER OR A Pla<x>yer. HOW WILL I FIND HER AND HAPPYNESS. I DONT HAVE A CP AT THIS TIME BUT U CAN TEXT ME OR CALL MY CELL PHONE. I JURT WANT A HAPPY LIFE WITH SOMEONE

Lesson One (and I see this ALL the time online): If you're looking for ONE female person, it's "woman." More than one woman is "women."

What's a CP? Did you mean PC or computer?

Being single is a gift. Just like not. Get through to a pathetic, winey, compulsive lyer and manipulative woman. To feel conserned as she trys ODing. She cries as you are the last person she can turn to. All the while you are still being manipulated.

:( Love is so important. If you cannot find a good man to love you, you should love God. In the end, God is the only thing that lasts anyway. A rose will bloom, and then will fade. So does a youth. So does the fairest maid.<br />
<br />
God lasts forever. It is so important.

I really feel how your feeling. You have a normal life and everything is set with your life except for one thing. Having a lack of a love life is very fustrating at times because we always have the desire to be close to somebody. But don't give up and keep on going.

The key is to stay optimistic, don't lose hope. There is a perfect person for you somewhere close. Keep living each day better and brighter. Maybe take a little more time for you. All work and no play as they say......

I'm 48 and people have been telling me that my whole adult life, "there's someone out there for you!" It becomes more difficult as you get older - people are more set in their ways, have more baggage and men want to date women who are younger to prop up their flagging egos. Ugh!

I agree with above comment ..there is nothing wrong with you my dear . I have just the same story . I have done everything you can imagine . Im not at all a bad and mean woman . As you said that even so simple and so ordinary people do have what you are looking for . I guess the trick to stop wandering BUT again be positive . There is someone there for you ....You will never know !!!<br />
Life is full of surprises ..... <br />
<br />
Love and peace ......