Be "the One"I'm sure, in this group, many of you are looking to find "the one". To find "the one", you have to know what, exactly, you're looking for. As I discussed in my last post, we all have different personalities, lifestyles, experiences, goals, values, quirks, and pet peeves. Therefore, the definition of what "the one" looks like will vary from person to person. What type of person should you look for? I can't answer that question for you, because I don't know you. This is so deeply personal that even someone who (thinks they) know you well can't answer it for you. Only YOU know what is right for you.
In my last post, I talked about self knowlege; this will give you an idea of what type of person you might actually be able to get along with, and relate to. Now that you've figured out who YOU are, you need to use this information to figure out who "the one" is. You can't find someone if you don't know what they look like. Now be warned: there is no "perfect" person; we're all flawed humans. You just want to find someone who has about 80% of what you're looking for. While there is no "perfect" person, there are some people you'll be able to get along with and relate to a lot more than others. You don't want to get desperate, get married in a hurry for the wrong reasons, and end up stuck with this person you can't stand.
Okay. You know who YOU are, you know what "the one" looks like. Now what? If you are really serious about looking for this person, you have to get out, put yourself out there, and let people know what you're looking for. They are not just going to knock on your door and ask you for a date. Many women just sit back and wait for "their prince to come". Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel...they're called fairy tales for a reason! If you want to find this person, you have to, to some extent, be the aggressor ( not that you want to be AGGRESSIVE, but you can't be totally passive, and always wait for the other person to come to you). You have to let them KNOW that you're there, you're available, and you're interested.
So often I hear women say something like,"I want a man who is intelligent, educated, has a high-paying job, is outgoing, funny, helpful around the house, and loves kids". Well, okay, that's great, but let me ask you this: Why would such a man be attracted to you? If you're uneducated, unemployed, sloppy looking, rude, bossy, aimless, haven't accomplished anything in life, helpless/no life skills, or any combination of the above, you probably won't be able to attract this type of person, no matter how hard you look, or how much you put yourself out there. This is why I would like to suggest an alternative approach to dating. Instead of just LOOKING for "the one", first concentrate on BEING "the one". Work on improving and developing yourself, so you will be able to attract this person you want.
From your self-knowlege, you will be able to make a list of all the qualities and traits you want in a partner/spouse/date. I'm telling you that before you start looking for this person, you better be every one of those things yourself (or at least 80% of them). Oherwise, why would this person want to date you, why would they be attracted to you?
Bottom line: A relationship has to be a two-way street. Before you look for "the one", you first have to BE "the one".
atpeacewithme 26-30 3 Responses 5 Jan 7, 2011