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What Happened?

What happened in these 20 years? Why did I fall through the cracks? What did I do to deserve this?

I find myself constantly asking these questions, and I can never find answers or ways out of my situation.

I'll start from the beginning, I'm a 20 year old student, and while not a virgin, I have never had a significant relationship. I mean one where you find happiness, share your innermost thoughts and feelings, and hell, just lay in bed be happy with who ever your with.

I feel like I've been left behind, growing up in a female dominated house, with the only source of guidance in girl problems being my alcoholic father. Throw in a home life full of grief and strife, and being picked on for numerous years, I can see how I never learned to "chase girls".

Fast forward to age 20, I'm in college, and that's going well by the fact that I'm not failing out. I can never find anyone to go out with to meet girls in the first place (all my old friends either went to a different school, or just did what they normally did and not invite me out).

I tried a relationship, with a girl who few would call attractive, and was emotionally more ****** up than I am. After a few months of mental strife caused by this failed experiment, I leave her.

Lately it just has ben building up inside me. Today I just took it out on everyone around me and let more than a few tears loose. I can't take it, everyone finding someone and leaving me alone as time has proven to be the theme of my life.

If anyone reads this, can anyone give me some advice, some words of wisdom, or comfort? I just need someone to talk to, and I hope I found it.
Secretus2 Secretus2 18-21, M Aug 7, 2012

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