It Shouldn't Be This Hard!

I'm 20 years old now. And for so much of my life I have been single. The longest relationship I ever had lasted 1 month. Now it's so embarrassing that whenever I do get in a relationship, it's hard for me to say, "Oh yeah so I've never been in a 'real relationship.'" Because everyone is going to think that something is wrong with me!
I mean I guess I'm pretty. I've been told that a lot by people, and a lot of guys hit on me. But I don't want some guy to date me just because he thought I looked hot or something! Because once they actually get to know me they'll probably think I'm weird.
And now everytime someone asks, "Oh why aren't you in a relationship?" I want to be like, "Why do YOU think?" because I seriously want to know!
I just have such bad luck with guys. I always have. Its always I like a guy who doesnt like me, a guy likes me who I have zero interest in, or something bad happens whenever I find someone who has mutual interest in me.
Whenever anyone tells me I'm pretty I always think, "Oh great, so I don't ever have a boyfriend because my personality sucks?"
You could say yes, I'm not super confident, I'm independent, and maybe too picky, but there's a lot of other people who are worse off than me in relationships so seriously??? So now I'm all up in my head thinking that my personality must be way worse than I thought and it stinks :( It's not like I need to be in a relationship but I feel SO flawed because I havent been. It's not like I'm looking for the perfect person anyways! It's not like I'm after some billionaire movie star. I just want any ol' normal person around my age who I can actually have a real relationship with! What is wrong with me?
renbrooks521 renbrooks521
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 6, 2012

Hear hear. You just want to experience what a real relationship is. Same here D: