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I'm Kinda Sick Of It At This Point

I find it really, how do I say... Depressing that every girl I know goes for a guy that either uses them for sex and hurts them, or cheats and treats them like dirt, then they complain to me about it and how they can't find a nice guy. Honestly, I am apparently a gay friend or chopped liver. One of my closest friends acts like i'm a diary and tells me everything... One day I poured my heart and soul out to her and she just in a nice way said It will never happen.. And that she had another boyfriend.... I have never felt so depressed about it... I've known this specific girl and liked her for over 2 years.... I just don't know what to do... I'm already bad with women as it is, my friend tells me talk to women that I don't know, well that's not very easy when everyone is hooking up, especially with Christmas coming soon... Sometimes I go to the park to just relax, I end up making it worse, cause... well... You know... couples everywhere... And my entire squash team hooked up with each other... I'm a senior in high school, and I've still never kissed anyone or had a relationship before. People say I'm too young. I wonder people forget what generation I was born to... A bad time to be born...

I don't know what to do anymore. Should I give up? Should I be someone else? I don't know, I honestly want someone to care about me...
NashBlaze NashBlaze 18-21, M 13 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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I know what that feels like , I'm 22 and a virgin and everybody in my dorm is having sex. Sometimes I want to kill myself but then again I don't want to die a virgin.

I'm in college now and my mom is pressuring me more than ever to find a girlfriend.

And as much as we probably both want to, giving up would be the worst thing we can do. As much as it looks the opposite, it will happen eventually... Just not as soon as we would hope.

I completely understand where you're coming from... I just finished my freshman year of college, still haven't been in a relationship or had that first kiss... All my friends just tell me to wait, and let it happen... But frankly I'm tired of waiting. And it's not even that I get rejected (although that of course happens as well), usually what happens is that I ask a girl out, and it's always a day or two after someone else had asked them out... And you would think that maybe they just made it up or something, but I ask around and sure enough that's exactly what happened. The most depressing was in my senior year of high school when someone asked out the girl an hour before I did... Demoralizing really.

Hey at least they consider it. I just get rejected every time...

Im guessing this is true for you as well, but I'm just not that "bad boy" type or whatever you want to call it. Im a really quiet guy, even with my best friends. And it's like every girl is always into the exact opposite of me, no matter how caring I am... At one point I was so fed up that I actually though about not giving a damn anymore, because that's how the boyfriends of every girl I've ever met act... Was going through my YouTube subscriptions, and I found this video. Made me change my mind. Decided I still want to care, even if it doesnt seem like its doing anything now. Just keeping my fingers crossed that it will eventually.

Go to YouTube and search "Nigahiga Nice Guys"... Apparently if I put the link up the system thinks I'm spamming.

Suggest you check it out, maybe it'll help you as well, or at least just give you a good laugh .

Looked it up, still feeling hopeless unfortunately....

Just don't give up. Don't let what you're feeling get the best of you, you can't let it run your life.

Its been doing that for a while now

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I agree with you on every point. Women make the wrong decision about guys all the time. They want someone to excite them, some badass Harley dude on a motorcycle. They don't want someone they can pore their heart out to and who will take care of them. There's dad's, brothers or guys like us do that for them...these are the good guys who never get anywhere and nothing is ever owed to us for caring about them. It's all different now, guys are for taking what you can get out of them and disposing of them when all the benefit is gone. Women don't want relationships, families, kids, or to take care of someone. They want someone they can get something from whether it's money (the good guy), excitement (the badass guy) or the best looking guy they can post pictures of on their facebook and say he's the guy du jour. Once all the benefit is gone, out with last week's trash you go. Yet society pushes us into relationships because you are made to feel worthless if you don't have one, and before you know it you're stuck with someone you can't stand. I wish it were different and that women were forced to make responsible choices and not hurt guys like us who want a honest relationship with them.

I wish it were Too but lately its been getting much worse...

I know how you feel because I'm a 61 year old single male in the same situation.I've been engaged 4 times but never to the alter.I'm also looking for a female to go out with but the only responses I get are people that want to use me.

The truth here is that unfortunately most of the ladies that get treated poorly by their boyfriend are attracted to guys like that as a result of their relationship to their fathers. They desire the attention and approval that wasn't offered by their fathers but the worst of it is that they aren't aware of it. It is a completely subconscious act. By you being a good guy and showing them due respect from the beginning you don't fit the profile of the guy that the want. There's no thrill in the chase because you're already offering it. Don't change though. All men need to have respect for women. They have girlfriends shoulders to cry on in need so be one of the guys and the guy who takes charge but leave an element of mystery about you. Good luck

sorry but this is life and it sucks, girls like a lot of attention but we are so complicated then when someone give's us everthing...well that is just to easy try to give them attention and then be indifferent let them be those who want you re attention.
Good luck.

one more thing I forgot something we like guys who seem to have something to hide so I recommend black, be tough as you do not care about anyone and when they'll think you're a jerk with no heart shows that you care.And that my friend, is the way to a girl's heart.

easier said than done

Thanks for the support. But honestly I don't shun anything or anyone. And yes I've heard of that book yarn I just never bothered to read it cause what's the point. It ain't gonna help. Worst part right now is that I'm meeting up with that girl I like and she's bringing her boyfriend so I can meet him.... Cause apparently I'm a sibling now... :'(

Hi again. I just went to amazon and found a book that might help explain things a bit.
It is called 'Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success With Women'.
Reading the editorial review and the comments, it seems like a reasonable book not one of those 'how to get her in the sack' that are so misogynistic.
Good luck and remember that a lot of other men are in your shoes. If you find something that helps, make sure you share it here!

My son had the same experience as you. It seemed he was always put in the 'friend only' category through high school and the first year of college.
Girls of that age frequently view confidence as attractive without recognizing that it is bad when coupled with being self centered. I believe it is an evolutionary built in, as confident men in primitive times meant they were healthy and could provide food for a mate and their children, as well as protect them physically.
Fortunately the smart young women learn to weed out the selfish as dating material.
By the time my son was in his second year of college, his growing confidence and young women wising up, meant dating was much easier. Then it was his turn to learn how to weed out the egotistical girls. And those types can be persistent!
Today he is in a good relationship with a cute young woman who is intelligent, they share a sense of humor and love of learning which makes their lives compatible.
Try to use these years as a time to concentrate on your career plans, be a good friend but not a doormat, to friends and family and be good to yourself.
I would recommend 'Men's Health' magazine. They not only have articles on exercise, healthy recipes but cover understanding women better, even an article in a past issue4 on how not to be put in the 'friend' category by a woman. And a monthly article where readers ask a wise older bartender for advice is priceless!
Remember, your attractiveness to the opposite sex will increase in your twenties, but building your confidence now will earn you positive results in all aspects of your life.

Unfortunately a lot of girls these days go for the guy who looks good but doesn't care about them. Don't give up, especially being a senior high school you have so much more to look forward to. Love will find its way, don't rush it. It will happen when it is ready to happen.

Sincerely, the 20 year old single girl.

No, just continue being yourself. Might not now, but eventually in time someone special will come to you. I get friendzoned a lot of times too and I'm 22.....

You are young, Nash , and i know youre sick of hearing that, too...
One day if you keep plugging along FAITHFULLY and SMILING, someone RIGHT will fall somehow in alignment with your life , needs and desires. No one is an island.....
There is always someone out there for someone else. Dont be too particular about the little things. YOU just might miss out on a very sweet and lasting friendship by shunning someone you dont think "matches"
Give it some thought and put on that smile! Good Luck!