I Dont Understand Relationships

I would just like to sat that none of the descriptions of me in the following story are my own opinion, i dont think your opinion of yourself really reflects you as well as you think, so i trust other people's opinions.. somtimes.

Anyway, first thing i dont understand is that i am perfectly capable of being funny, charming, and am fun, unique (in a good way), sensitive, strong, confident, smart, loyal, caring etc, everything everyone is always complaining that they cant find, but i get friendzoned by every girl i talk to, very few people seem to have a bad word against me since i got on top of my depression last year, (especially since i beat it completely this year) so if im so amazing, as im SO often told, then why am i still single? I recently had several conversations with girls who told me they were in awe of one or other of my (apparently) many amazing qualities, but again, i am still single, and not by choice. This double standard is seriously confusing me.

Second thing i dont understand is that if i ever WERE to get a girlfriend again (my last real girlfriend was too many years ago, and despite a surprising amount of advances, i dont believe in 1 night stands) then what would i do? I have never understood the girlfriend/boyfriend thing, as far as i see it, its just 2 people who enjoy each other's company above all others and are physically attracted to each other, but the amount of social etiquette and procedures, and protocols involved, its like some sadistically complicated game of chess, what ever happened to just enjoying each other's company? where did all the tests and strategic dates come into it?

I dont understand relationships, they are complicated  and have never made sense, because from what i see they are littered with double standards, making each other jump through hoops when all that either of you really want is someone who you can open up to and share yourself with, and receive the same in return.

Im willing to navigate this insane maze, but i cant even seem to get through the bit that i apparently have down. Im always told how good i am with women, but seriously, if im so great, why am i still single?

I have looked at this from every angle, apparently, i:
-have a great personality
-am good-looking
-am charming
-am great with women
-am the perfect boyfriend
-am a great kisser
-am respectful
-will make someone VERY happy some day <--that one is the worst

so why am i still alone, from a logical standpoint, it makes no sense at all.

MrWinstonSmith MrWinstonSmith
26-30, M
4 Responses Dec 14, 2012

Most people feel that they don't deserve happiness and they are always looking in the wrong place...

I think after going through depression without complaining to any of my friends, and coming out of it kinder than ever has earned me some happiness.

LOL..every aspect of my life was in shambles, lost everything money could buy...no one from my past understands how I can be happy, I'm claiming crazy ;)

Claim enlightenment, then they might follow your example, but crazy is good too :)

haven't you heard that crazy is the new "in"? Never did follow trends but I'm riding this crest ;)

Its odd, in the last few years, everything i have been doing my entire life, is suddenly trendy...
Being a geek, being eccentric, carrying around a sonic screwdriver in my pocket :P I dont make a big thing of it, i just find it funny.

sonic screwdriver? Is that what Dr Who carries around? I believe your time has come weedhopper...may the force be with you...

I was never that into star wars, i am well aware 1-3 sucked, and 4-6 ruled, but im more star trek/doctor who.

And yes, its what Doctor Who carries around

I only saw the first Star Wars in 1977. My grandkids just introduced me to Dr Who and I am hooked (crushing on David Tennent...wish he was 10 years older ;) My 5 year old granddaughter wants to be his assistant when she grows up I believe she will be...

5 More Responses

Your first mistake is assuming that people want to be happy. Think back to your past relationships, what stands out to you more? The good times, or the bad ones? If you're like most people its the negative bits that stand out more. People love pain, they enjoy giving and receiving it. It all about getting that fix of chemicals from your brain parts. If you really want a healthy relationship you need to find someone who has just given up. Someone who has nothing more to lose and just doesn't give a flying ****. Not an mean person. But someone who is completely open to you seeing them for who they really are from the get go. Those people are out there, they're hard to find, and they aren't always going to be the friendliest looking people. But if you really want what you say you want in a partner the only way you're going to get it is by sticking to your guns and going out there.

Oh relationships... sorry I am not going to be much help but I can understand what you are talking about. I can say for sure women are pretty crazy :) I wish you the best, you sound like a really nice guy. I do agree that we just need to enjoy are other half, love is love and we got to enjoy it! Keep your head up!

Perhaps people that caught your eye ever only look at bad points, putting your good points aside? Or that people feel that you're too good and they're not good enough? Inferiority can be found in everywhere. Even maybe they are afraid to destroy the safe zone with you and so that things wouldn't end up ugly in the end?

Hesitation makes one lose out a lot, girls always never learn.