It's Just Frustrating

I'm 21 years old now, been single for a year. I've made bad choices in the past and became involved with a lot of women who haved caused me great pain.


But now i'm in this dry spell, and i've never had to assert myself with women before but I am learning. And I have a lot of good qualities, I am intelligent, funny, and handsome. But none of these qualities seem to count for much if I cant play these stupid games. Apparently theres this whole process nescessary to hold a girl's attention and I just don't much care to do it. I like to be honest and open but when I get that way my precious few prospects get bored because I am not being mysterious.

And so I sit here and think about this and wonder if I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to trick girls into liking me or if its something they will grow out of.

My life experiences has given me a no-nonsense approach to things. I know what I want and I like to go after it. But I either get assertive girls who pursue and then mistreat me or I go after the meeker type and they get bored because I don't string them along.

I'm just a nice guy who wants a nice girl to be close to. And its taken me a while to get this way but it seems like no girl is up to the task. I know i'm young and I can only hope it will get better. But it is so hard to view it that way from my position.

LordEvan88 LordEvan88
18-21, M
5 Responses Nov 28, 2009

I'm going to make a suggestion.Date an older woman.We are far more mature,experienced,and usually aren't looking for the things that girls your age pressure men your age about (marriage,starting a family,etc).I'm 35,been through a lot,and know what I want.Trust me.Give it a try.

Aww.Just be yourself and don't worry too much about it.It will all be solved in time

Most of the girls I met before I met through school. Now I'm juggling work and college and I havent had the opportunity to meet many girls.<br />
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I do a lot of acting in my spare time, most of the girls there are a lot older than me. But I did meet this one girl, beautiful, sweet, we've got a lot in common. She told her friend she liked me but when I went forward and told her how I felt she said she wanted to stay friends, she tells her friend she doesnt want to date until the end of the play. I had to jump through a lot of hoops and play a lot of games just to get to this point.<br />
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I don't know what to believe, I have no idea where I stand, and if she cant be honest with me I'm not sure I want to move forward, even after the play is over. It kind of caused me to develop a little perspective on her, realize that she's a lot less experienced than I am and a lot less mature (I am not trying to be arrogant here, just trying to come forward with the truth). I'm still physically and mentally attracted to her, but I know she has yet to develop a real sense of the world and if we had something it wouldn't last more than a few months before she would get bored. <br />
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So I feel like all I can do is sit on my hands and wait until the girls around me grow up a little. Which is frustrating. But I don't know how to look for girls at this point, or where. I spend most of my time around older people because we connect a lot better, but its bad for meeting women.

It'll get better as you leave college and enter the work force. You'll make new friends and they can introduce you to their girlfriend's friends or relative's friends. Maybe the women you've met have similar mindset because of the place or environment.

I think you are mixing with the wrong crowd!<br />
Have you got a hobby? Tennis, bush walking, anything you like, then you will meet the right girl, that also likes your hobby and you can get to know girls without the stress. Try it!<br />
The girls you are hanging around are obviously not interested in a long term committment, they are too young and only want to explore. Plus I bet you met them at parties or dancing venues???