Somehow I emerge as an expendable friend to people. No, not to the core of my circle but there are others who will happily block me in a moment. Not that I try to get wrapped up in them because at times it is a lack of compatibility but I've been blocked for almost no reason at all by friends. Or I've had so called friends try to psychologically fry me. Then there's my favorite kind - the ones who will tell you that you mean the world to them only to have the wheels come off the wagon of progress when it becomes painfully evident that they are prisoners of the past, singing songs of yesterday. I don't hold this against them mind you. With all due respect however, I am sick of being the expendable friend, I am sick of certain so called friends trying to shame me or assuming they know me after less than a week of talking. I'm a mosaic man and trust me, the number of people who can handle the clarity of the sight of the full and complete mosaic is an extreme modest one. Most of you don't get it, you see bits and pieces. Some of you think that you can take that knowledge and use it against me, others of  you want to own and not in the romantic sense of the word either. Still others practice a double standard and you wonder why my circle shrinks or why you may be kicked off without warning? Because I want HQ friendships and future HQ relationship. Nothing else will suffice.

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7 Responses Feb 14, 2010

OMG even I can totally relate to this!! Most of the "friends" I've ever had turned out to be fake. Throughout the "friendships" all they've done is give me labels, make me feel bad about my fundamental nature, say that something's wrong with me and I should change myself in certain ways ("oh you're so emotional, you're such a this and that etc). And then they'd eventually use/exploit me for some or other personal gain (because I tend to go out of my way to do things for my friends), and then disappear on me..! <br />
The way I think of it, they had no RIGHT to point out character traits of mine that they didn't like, especially if they had no intention of sticking around anyway...! They would never know or feel what all I've been through in life, how come I am the way I am, how I react to certain things the way I do, especially if its none of their concern... etc. I also have a mosaic personality, I feel.<br />
Even I'd only care for REAL friendships from now on, and no less!

Well we can pick you out a theme some my son as all the CD's for the WWE theme songs- lol <br />
Seriously, though you are a great friend with a huge heart and a brilliant mind.

MM- I don't claim to know everything about you but it is because you are so multi dimensional but that's what makes out chats so great. I think we both see so many likes and differences in each other it makes our friendship so interesting and fun. Well to me it does. I hate that everyone doesnt know you like I do, for the warm, sensitive, kind hearted friend you are to me :)

Sometimes, it may not be you personally. Your friends might be at a different point in life than you. It is not always easy to let go of the past. That doesn't mean they care for you any less.

It's true De, but we can't let the ones who would use our best intentions get us down, can we? We must learn to leave them behind us. We have too many others who are willing to be there and help us even if we know less than we'd like to about them.

Yeah, I know. Just wanted to let you know I'm still here for you.

Hello, my friend.