Seriously- Don't Bother.

Okay, I expect a bit of flack for this, but I really feel the need to express my stance on this subject, seeing as how I've received (and continue to receive) friend requests from those who have either a wife-sharing fetish, or engage in the practice of wife-sharing.
Let me just state that I am very, very open-minded about A LOT of things involved in the sexual realm. Wife-sharing, however, completely hits the wrong chord with me. I understand that some men are turned on by watching their wife (or others wives) with other men, simply because they find her incredibly attractive, and furthermore, because they like the idea of other men finding her attractive as well; yes, I get the general gist of it. Still, this whole fetish just... perplexes me.
I mean, come on... if you truly love your wife (and I'm assuming that you do, seeing as how you proposed to her at some point) why not have more respect for her as an individual? Why not view her as "yours" and only "yours," that very statement and ability being one of the loveliest rights entailed in your documented, romantic union? Why even commit to marriage at all, if you're only planning on keeping the sexual boundaries of your relationship as open and free as two singles might?
I just completely, utterly abhor the whole idea of it... I'm sorry if that seems judgmental, but I do. I believe that marriage is a sacred covenant between two people, with or without a higher power involved; it is a serious commitment and partnership of love and virtue that deserves so much more respect than an "anything goes" sort of approach. Allowing ones wife, or even just encouraging her, to engage in sexual acts with other men completely depletes all meaning from the basics of commitment, and therefore, the root of wedding vows as a whole. Where is the substance and purpose in your unity? Where is the proof that you two have chosen to bond to, love, and cherish each other, and each other alone?
So, yeah... Don't waste your time in adding me, because I don't like the whole "wife-sharing" thing. I don't like the fact that men who share their wives and women who allow themselves to be shared are draining all truth and power from the purpose of marriage; it's complete hypocrisy and a bold contradiction to marriage in and of itself.
I think that these men and women should have more respect for their partners, as well as themselves.
OblitusAuri OblitusAuri
22-25, F
10 Responses May 22, 2012

Totally agree with you

This is a question that is bound to get a knee-jerk response out of almost everyone. Just a couple of small points. First of all, 'wife sharing' as a term is currently out of vogue and likely to remain so. It suggests, as you rightly point out, that the female half of the relationship is a passive vessel to be passed around like an article. The term to use, I believe, is 'swinging' or, if there is a spectatorial element with just the woman involved, 'cuckoldry.' The latter is a bit old-fashioned, but it's a bit better than 'wife sharing,' which really is quite patronising.

Secondly, I feel the need to disengage from the visceral harrangues that are present here and say that 'swinging' or 'open relationships' isn't always as scandalous as you make it out to be. Read John Updike's novel "Couples." He was an intelligent, articulate writer, the kind you would find on many a college course. The novel isn't pornographic, nor does it have a particular agenda in respect to this matter. The way John Updike treats this subject left me thinking, "Oh, well, it's just one of those things." Not such a bad conclusion.

You are an good writer and a very intelligent one. I'm with on this: Why would any man pimp-out his wife? I've been around, but I do not get it. I think you've got a piece of it, 'deba<x>se' the wife/woman is part of it, clearly.

You said "respect her as an individual" and the next sentence you talk about ownership over the woman. Had to stop reading at that point. Too early in the rant for things to already not add up.

I find it a little odd, but people have different perspectives on marriage. They probably think of marriage as mainly about emotional rather than physical. If its based more on physical than the spiritual and emotional aspect, then one should not be married. I'm just saying... :-)

I agree,I dont share,or cheat,but thats just my personal opinion,we are all different.

Its really disturbing that some men are totally okay with their wife sleeping with other men, not just one other man but many other men and the fact that they enjoy it is sickening. If you aren't wanting monogamy then dont get married!

Yes, yes, yes- exactly! Thank you for your direct and well-stated comment, glad someone else sees it like I do. :)

im getting tired of reading about it. Its not that they are just sleeping with other men the husband is also referring to his wife as a **** or a ***** or some other really degrading word. or something like "she knows how daddy likes it" and goes into to detail about how he controlled her and all the things he made his wife do to hum while another man did something else to her. It sounds like something out of a horrible *****.

Not only do I adhor this idea, I can't seem to wrap my mi around it.

well said

Really wife sharing, ok not my thing but look at Auri guys if she was your girl would you want to share.Ok i didnt think so you would want her all for yourself.