So Damn Tired Of It All

I am sick of living with my mental health problems. Was at the clinic yesterday and was thinking how nice it would be to die as i think about this every single day. To me it is normal to think of this. I wasn't aware that i had said anything out loud but i must have and then the dr came in and i had to talk to someone on the phone. I had to tell the nurse what was going on in my head which is a scary thing for me. Have had depression for many many years and also have ptsd, dissociative disorder and really have been struggling to get through the day lately.

I get scared but sometimes lie to people when they ask me how i am feeling because if i tell them the things that really go on in my head-i get scared that i will be locked up as i have in the past.

wowpup wowpup
41-45, F
9 Responses Feb 26, 2010

I know-its the asking for help that i find difficult to do. How are you? Not much better

Sorry to hear about your bad weekend. How are you doing today? You know, we will come running to help you if you just say you want to talk...

Even though i have this support network, i find it so difficult to tell someone when i need to talk or need help. I don't say anything even when i realise that that is what i am doing. It was a really bad weekend for me.

I have a GP who has been quite good for me and i have a few really great friends who support me heaps. I also see a lady who used to be a psychiatric nurse and i see her on a regular basis. Thanks everyone for concern.

hospital is not something i have experienced; though some of my close friends have a number of times, and my dad has been in hospital a lot.<br />
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What support do you have outside hospital? is there an aftercare thing in place, like a doctor, a psychiatrist? support/ activity groups? <br />
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I f you need to unload any time, add me as a friend, message me.<br />
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There is no need to contemplate the end, it is not your problem it is a lack of mental health awareness problem. <br />
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Dalai Llama once said...'be the change you want to see'

Will do my best

Thought you had this under control. Didn't know that you were still struggling with this. You take care of yourself and get the help you need.

Yep matey i do mean hospital in the psychiatric ward and depends if i can keep my temper in check with the restrictions-in seclusion.

hi man, do you mean locked up in hospital?