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My Husband Cannot Hold a Job

Over the last 9 years, my husband has had 7 jobs.  No kidding!  I try to be supportive but enough is enough.  He is a crabby jerk all the time and so mean.  He has changed so much.  I know he feels bad, but he takes it out on the family.  Last night he told me he cannot stand me and said sarcastially "aren't I lucky!"  He calls me lard as* and lazy and is constantly telling me I do not measure up to other wives.  He sits home all day on the computer and yells at the kids.  I have 2 part time jobs during the year.  One is as a sub teacher and I do pretty good with that.  The other is part time retail.  I always have 2 jobs and am still expected to work all over the house.  He tells me I don't do Sh*t and is always bossing me around.  If there is paperwork to be done, I DO IT.  If I don't get it in, it is all my fault.  We have had to get some assistance over the years and I am always the one who  has to fill everything out and then bring it in and do the begging.  We get Wic and NEVER once has he went to an appointment or even picked up the food with the vouchers.  My pride is in the toilet and he keeps losing jobs.  I don't get it.  I think some of it is not his fault but now I am thinking what the heck, he has to be doing something wrong.  Maybe being mean to people at work?  It is the huge white elephant in the room and if I talk about it.  He calls me his favorite pet name for me.  *****.  He calls me this daily.  Anytime I disagree or show any signs of not being happy with his lack of work ethic.  How come you didn't clean up here when Iwas at work?  F you *****!  That is what I get.  He has kicked me out of our bed because I snore which he says is because I am so fat.  that may be part of it but it is also a cronic sinus problem I have.  He just makes fun of it/me.  He is ALWAYS home.  and always on the computer.  he hogs the pc, the tv and bedroom.  I don't count.  I feel like killing myself almost daily.  The kids are the ONLY  reason I have not killed myself years ago.  We never have money to do or go anywhere.  We never get to take the kids on vacation or even out to dinner.  We have never been to a movie as a family ever!  I have NO ONE to tell this to because the will HATE my husband.  I feel so alone.  I never ever go out with friends.  I cannot afford to.  We have had to file for bankruptcy, been foreclosed on  and have creditors after us.  We live in a rental now and every day I worry we will have to pack and move again.  It sucks for my kids.  My husband will NOT work!  I swear.  When he did work, the idea of a second job was OUT OF THE QUESTION!   It is ok for me to work several jobs tho.  He does not contribute.  He tells me I don't work enough.  Well, he told me I could stay home with our kids some and now he says it is my fault we are poor for not working enough.  This summer, I go off to work and he takes the kids to the park or for ice cream and all sorts of fun things and then he tells me when I have the kids not to spend a dime.  I even had to work the 4th and 5th of july while he went and had fun with the kids and our out of town guests.  He is constantly finding jobs for me in the paper but not him.  Here is one for you!  Apply!  Well, I don't think I would like that I say and he says You never want to work it is your fault we are in debt. etc etc etc.  Now there is this job in the paper that I don't want to do  but I am being forced to apply.  I had lots of guys in college that wanted to marry me and I made a bad choice..   I am a loser forever.

bluegirl89 bluegirl89 36-40 5 Responses Jul 6, 2009

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You just told my life story, the only advice I can give you is to learn how to be independent again and divorce him, thats what im doing, and as you separate yourself farther away from him in every way it gets a whole lot easier, don't sleep with him, dont coddle to his selfish needs and do only for yourself and your kids. If you want to go out to dinner, take yourself and your kids, leave his *** home. A man who has no want or drive to support his family and puts everything on his wife is no man and is not worth a dime. Get rid of him.

I understand what you are going thru. It is such a horrible feeling to always be suffering like this. We both tried to do the right thing, college graduates... Things never seen to work out for very long and I feel bad for our kids. I feel alone too and have no one to talk too. Everyone else around me is successful.

same here, just that my hub didn't have much luck ,he's honest & hardworking & experienced in logistics but there's always politics among management that got him. i have 2 kids still in school, still headache what to do next coz 1 kid is on costly chronic medicines & i can't work full time job cos always standby for the boy. i had no friend to confide less to say they understand. wish had someone to share my thoughts & sadness, sometime. I'm from Singapore.

blu girl i would like to have u in my contacts as i can share with u my hassles. because i too dont have anyone to share with.... all the best

dont worry. i too have similar prob.. but of a different degree. and i could say almost as yours. but thank god we dont have kids..... intentionally... then i think u r fortunate over me