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Sep 26th, 2009
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I
feel like nothing. Like nothing has gone anywhere and never will. I sit and I wish and then I try and I fail and I realize that my life is full of bland mediocrity and... sad. Even when I'm happy I know it's just acting and something will take it away soon. Is anything really wrong? No. Is anything good? No. Everything is absolutely nothing. Tonight, I typed 'Sick of my life' into google hoping something would come up. That's not right. I can't watch movies or read certain books because all it makes me think of is just how incredibly unspectacular my life is. I don't like me. I love my family because they're my family and I love my girlfriend because I do. But none of them are very nice to me and as time goes by I wonder if that's just how life is. Uncomfortable, disenchanting, angry...
The worst part is I want to be happy. I don't want to just go throw myself off a bridge. I want a life. I want excitement. I want to sing and be incredible but every time I try I just fall flat on my face. I realize every time I try and trust and treat the world like the rose coloured thrilling place it should be I just get hurt. Why can't I smile anymore? Why do I feel so sick?
I actually typed 'Sick of my life'...
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  | Posted Sep 27th, 2009 at 1:27AM Wow, I was so relieved to read your story. Thank you for sharing. Just know that you are NOT the only one out there whose life makes them FAR from happy.   |
 | Posted Sep 29th, 2009 at 2:38PM, last updated Sep 29th, 2009 at 2:41PM When I was living in everett wa I was feel so down I thinking was because the weather is always rain and the sky was gray most the time, I'm feel like you but I'm trying put good thinks inside of me in my heart, I would like that you take look in my blog www.denissondasilva.blog.com maybe you know my son that I'm looking for, if don't help spread this blog in washington because he is living in snohomish area and me living in Brasil, I have four years without any news from him because his mother she have other man and hide he from me, thank you. I 'm sorry about my english. |
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