I Need Help Fast! My Step Is Hurting My Kids And Leaving Bruises!

I really need help. I've posted before about my step, Ashley. I'll give the background info as briefly as I can, so I can get to my story and question.

Okay. been with my husb for 12+ years. I have four stepchildren (all from different mothers). I adore them all...except Ashley. She was 2 when I met her. Being the baby of the family, she got away with hitting, screamimng, tantrums, etc. she's almost 15 and is STILL like that. She is simply a little bit#h. She told me two summers ago in front of my super christian nieces and my daughter...that I 'look like a wh0re'. That sums up her attitude towards me. She pretty vocal and unabashed about it...to my embarrassment. Her dad feels bad for her...so he never reprimands her for what she says or does. One more thing about her...she's filthy. She has an ongoing yeast infection, sometimes lice, impetigo in her nostrils and top lip. She walks around barefoot outside all the time and then puts her nasty size 11 feet all over our walls and furniture. She's picks at her impetigo and then sticks her nasty fingers into everyones food. I throw out all open containers (pickles, ice cream, etc) when she leaves because it makes me sick. I won't let my kids eat from them no matter what. I bought a tub of cookie dough...I walked into the kitchen, and she was scooping it out with her fingers, eating it and scooping out more! VOMIT!

Anyhow, My husband and I have a 7 year old girl, 1 1/2 year old boy, and I'm having my third in October. Ashley is 15 and no longer the 'baby' and it pi$$e$ her off. She's been visiting for the last three weeks. I've bit my tongue, and walked away from her snide remarks towards me and my children. She's mean as heck...she snatches the TV remote away from my daughter, and pushes her off the computer chair so SHE can get on. My daughter learned to swim this summer. Ashley holds her under the water to scare her. Ashley slammed the pool gate behind her locking it...leaving my daughter to climb over it (we have a community pool). If the baby plays with a toy that makes noise, she tells him to shut-up, or else she snatches the toy and throws it across the room. My son gets up around 8, plays for a half hour in his crib, and usually conks back out til 9:30. Ashley gets mad that the baby wakes her up by doing this, so she takes him out of his crib and plunks him on my bed and goes back to sleep. Then he's miserable all day! All of these accounts are accurate...because she has the nerve to do all of it in front of me! I've told my husband as gently as I can...but he still coddles her!

Here's the issue. She's now leaving marks on my daughter and hurting her. You see, I've taught my daughter to keep her temper and fight with her words- not her fists. To be a lady. My stepdaughter has been raised to hit and defend herself. My daughter was so frustrated...I pulled her aside and told her to do whatever it is she needs to do...that Ashley will be going home soon. Ashley slapped her, so my daughter started crying and hit Ashely on the leg with her stuffed animal. Ashley slapped her even harder, yes, in front of me. I've started taking pictures to prove it to my husband. Brooklyn has a handprint on her neck and chest, finger bruises on her arm, etc. My husband says...well, Brooklyn provokes fights, too! Which is not true...I'm home all day, and my daughter is scared of her. She stays away. My husband says it's just a kid thing, that that's how brothers and sisters are. What do I do?

I'm usually the lion protecting her cubs. I want to clock this girl whenever she hurts my kids, even though I don't usually believe in fighting! How is a 7 year old supposed to protect herself from a 5'11 15 year old with a bad attitude?!

What do I say? What do I do? Do I tell my daughter to just take it til she leaves? Do I demand my husband do something (he won't...he feels 'bad' for Ashley). Do I take matters into my own hands and reprimand her? I've already told her that she needs to stop and respect our household...but it isn't sinking in. I'm about to go off the deep end...but my husband will say that I'M the ONE being dramatic.
VodkaJax VodkaJax
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 6, 2010

When this girl comes to visit your home, leave. Take your children and leave. Your husband will have to deal with her on his own, your kids will be safe, and you'll have your sanity. Or make it very clear to your husband that this girl is not welcome in your home. If he wants to visit with her, he can go elsewhere with her. I honestly think you have the patience of a saint. I know without a doubt I would have knocked this girl on her rear - consequences be darned.

Take the photos of the abuse on your little one to the police station and have them pick her up. Then leave your good for nothing husband. Testify against the 15 year old ***** in court and hopefully they will put her in juvenile prison, because there is no sense in this at all!! You could also try to get a restraining order against her. Do something though, for the sake of your children!