I'm Sick of Myself
Wow talk about a continuous pity party i am having for myself. i am so SICK of me!! Here are a few things that right now i am FED up with, some of them i can control and other's unfortunately i can't but either way i'm just so sick of myself!!
1. i'm tired of the fact that EVERY morning, due to depression, i have to struggle just to get out of my bed!!
2. i'm sick of George Bush
3. i'm sick that even though i have tried many times to quit smoking, i keep failing
4. i'm sick of constantly getting migraines
5. i'm sick of the fact that i have let my home look like a dumpster
6. i'm sick of the fact that although i have spent the money on flowers i still haven't planted my garden
7. i'm sick to death about me wasting my energy over things i have no control of
8. i'm sick to death, because of my PATHETIC family, that while my father is currently dying, i have to check the obituaries daily, to see if he has died, as no one will talk to me at ALL, because i dared to speak the truth
9. i'm sick to death that on the rare occasions that i agree to do something, i rarely follow through
10. i'm sick to death that i am in so much debt
11. currently i am on disability, i have been trying to get a job in the career i had prior to staying at home with my kids and i can't
12. i am sick to death btwn the war of stay at home mom vs. working moms; damn can't we all just support each other in trying to be good parents
13. i'm sick of the weight that i have gained and my b/f telling me that i have a FANTASTIC body, most ppl. would probably like a b/f who doesn't slam your weight gain, but it feels to me like he is lying
14. i'm sick of the fact that because of my weight gain i am slipping into my old anorexic behaviors
15. i'm sick to death that my younger son's bedroom is such a nightmare that he can't feel comfortable even sleeping in his room and has for the last month slept on the couch on the main floor
16. i'm sick of having panic attacks DAILY
17. i hate the fact that i have to testify at my rapist's new sexual assault trial, i want to kill him and i never wanted to see his disgusting face again
18. i'm sick of the fact on the rare occasions that i do go out i pretend that i have the greatest life in the world
19. i'm sick that i haven't even done my bloody taxes yet
20. i'm sick to death that this list could go on and on, but i'll stop my pathetic whining now.
Have a GREAT day everyone!!