I Didn't Know What To Think

I've been "sexually active" for awhile now. Never with a boyfriend, nothing stable. I've just somehow ended up in those friends-with-benifits situations a couple times. I'm a lot more careful now; I'm on birth control. But when I was 14-please no lectures about that being too young-I started having sex with a guy that lived a few houses down from me.
He was nice enough, but he didn't love me. I didn't love him. One day we didn't have a condom, but we were stupid and horny and just didn't care. Nothing happened. I swore I wouldn't be careless again, but a few months later, out of condoms, stupid, horny, cares went out the window.
I got pregnant.
I didn't have any options. I grew up without a dad, and it never bothered me. But at the same time, I wanted MY future kids to have the dream life, and this guy definitely wasn't going to be there.
Where would I go?
My grandparents would've disowned me, and my mom lives with her boyfriend, who honestly ruined my sister and I's childhood. I could NEVER have a child and let them near him..
I couldn't have a child. There was no way. But I heard abortion was murder, and up till then I had believed it. But I knew, deep down, I couldn't have a baby.
I ended up having a miscarriage before I could go to the doctor. After that, I changed my mind about abortion-I don't think it's wrong, I don't think it's murder. Sometimes it's the only way. If I hadn't of had a miscarriage, I would've had an abortion. I wouldn't of liked it, it probably would've torn me up inside.
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and fix your mistakes before other people start to suffer.
JustBreathe3 JustBreathe3
18-21, F
4 Responses Sep 28, 2012

Close your ******* legs if you can't own up to the responsibilities of having sex. Pathetic

You're a boy. Perfect. It's funny how guys can have all the sex they want with no repercussions! You can't get pregnant! No worries! There is NO responsibility involved for a boy to have sex. If she get pregnant, it's not your problem. So shut your filthy mouth and don't open it again until you've gotten pregnant.

Oh, I was wrong! You're a woman, even better! Great job standing up for women's rights!! Now here's the kicker, you've contracted HPV from having sex. Isn't that funny? Lots worse than a pregnancy I'm sure. Guess you should've owned up to the responsibility of having sex. Good luck with that STD though, HPV is a lot of fun (: *****

It's no problem at all actually you probably have it and don't even no it.

What if you did have an abortion and your future children found out that you had killed their big brother or sister? (You might try Googling "siblings of aborted babies.") No child has a perfect life, that's just not something that is possible in our world. Even the happiest of families are dysfunctional to an extent. Why not try to give your children the best lives possible under the circumstances, rather than waiting for an ideal that doesn't exist?

Oh god just **** off already.

Dude.... thats a permanent solution for a temporal problem.
you know there is adoption right? millions of people who can't have kids and are dying to be parents. that would be the right thing to do.
i have a 4 month old baby boy and i am 19. he is my blessing,and let me tell you something... sooner or later,if you have had an abortion,you would have regret eventually.

God that is the dumbest pro-life argument ever. People who can't have children CAN ADOPT. There are tons of children READY TO BE ADOPTED already, we don't need more. Sucks to be infertile, but just because some people can't have babies doesn't mean those who can are obligated to.

Ugh, they're making it illegal in Canada, which I think is a total crock!!

At least you recognize what you want for your future kids, and that currently you aren't in a place where you can make their lives best as possible. I think the government should recognize that, and keep it legal otherwise they WILL end up with larger populations of poor and uneducated people, you know?

I think you did a good thing, it would NOT be cool to raise kids in substandard conditions where they'll grow up unhappy :)