I Didn't Know What To ThinkI've been "sexually active" for awhile now. Never with a boyfriend, nothing stable. I've just somehow ended up in those friends-with-benifits situations a couple times. I'm a lot more careful now; I'm on birth control. But when I was 14-please no lectures about that being too young-I started having sex with a guy that lived a few houses down from me.
He was nice enough, but he didn't love me. I didn't love him. One day we didn't have a condom, but we were stupid and horny and just didn't care. Nothing happened. I swore I wouldn't be careless again, but a few months later, out of condoms, stupid, horny, cares went out the window.
I got pregnant.
I didn't have any options. I grew up without a dad, and it never bothered me. But at the same time, I wanted MY future kids to have the dream life, and this guy definitely wasn't going to be there.
Where would I go?
My grandparents would've disowned me, and my mom lives with her boyfriend, who honestly ruined my sister and I's childhood. I could NEVER have a child and let them near him..
I couldn't have a child. There was no way. But I heard abortion was murder, and up till then I had believed it. But I knew, deep down, I couldn't have a baby.
I ended up having a miscarriage before I could go to the doctor. After that, I changed my mind about abortion-I don't think it's wrong, I don't think it's murder. Sometimes it's the only way. If I hadn't of had a miscarriage, I would've had an abortion. I wouldn't of liked it, it probably would've torn me up inside.
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and fix your mistakes before other people start to suffer.