When Things Go Terribly Wrong...

After reading the last story, I felt inspired to write this short story.  This is true; it happened to a friend of mine.

She and her husband were trying unsuccessfully to have a baby for two or three years.  They started getting fertility treatments and finally got pregnant.  During the ultrasound around 14 or 16 weeks - I dont remember exactly.  The ultra sound technician was performing the basic exam when the technician gasped.  They immediately knew something was wrong.  The technician wouldn't tell them what was wrong instead the technician left the room and grabbed the doctor.  The doctor then performed the ultra sound.

They conceived their baby.  Unfortunately, things went terribly wrong.  The baby had no brain or spinal cord.  There was absolutely no chance of survival after delivery.  The doctor delivered this crushing news in her office and asked if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy or wait to see if the pregnancy terminated itself.  She chose to terminate.  I dont blame her at all.  It was the hardest decision of her life and she was crushed for the loss of her baby.  She told everyone else that she miscarried as she was Catholic and was afraid of people's reactions.

A little while later they had a perfectly healthy little girl.  They have three kids now.  But how is terminating a bad pregnancy murder?  (Sorry for the term bad pregnancy - didn't know how else to describe it.)

NoGodsNoMasters NoGodsNoMasters
31-35, F
11 Responses Jun 24, 2009

Its called anencephaly and it is a neural tube defect. And actually there is almost always at least a brain stem or part of one developed. The brain stem controls your major body functions breathing heartbeat etc. Yes these babies will die but many of them are born alive. They vary in life span some life only minutes but one anencephalic boy is now 2 years old. So you really never can know for sure. So yes it is murder, you are killing someone with a heartbeat who can breathe.

If I give my solemn oath to not disrespect, threaten, or otherwise malign you, will you unblock and allow me to send you a message?<br />
I don't mind discussing these things here, not at all, it's simply not what the thread is about.<br />
And by the by- it's not fair that you have me blocked- so I can't check you out- but you checked ME out... that's just not playing fair.<br />
I'm flattered that your curiosity got the best of you, but it's still not fair. :)<br />
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN POST ANYTHING in that group!!<br />
I made it ESPECIALLY so we could continue our debate! XD<br />
Whaddya say? Can I message ya? Or just do this here?

Yes I am, asiam, samiam, green eggs and ham-<br />
and it's WORKING!!!!!<br />
Just kidding. Because of the 'violent' way we've entered each others' online consciousness, you will live forever in my mind- and I'm really just being mischievous. Can ya blame me? You damn near emasculated me with your threats to report me, mom!!!<br />
I'm not REALLY trying to get a rise out of you. Not now, anyway. Maybe another post

Whoooooaaa, asiam..... have you been reading my posts too often?<br />
Sounds like you're not willing to respect others anymore, now...<br />
...hum...<br />
<br />
What's the point of birthing a child with no brain or spine?<br />
Can it even live if it IS born?<br />
Like someone posted- in that case, it's not abortion.

asiamtoday, you're wrong. anyone with any opinion on the subject can post on this sight. you are the one being closed minded and disrespectful on this subject.<br />
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GodlessMomma, i appreciate your comment to me. i totally get what you said. i think i was unclear on what i said. i meant i have a problem with people using abortion for routine birth control. not failed birth control. i think you were brave to have your babies in spite of the vigorous measures you took to prevent pregnancy. it must have been hard. in fact, i know it is. i planned 2 out of 5 pregnancies. i love all my kids, but it was'nt easy. yes, i hate abortion. i can't imagine anyone liking the idea of destroying life. i do believe that sometimes, for personal reasons, it is the right answer, such as in your friend's case. i wish happiness for your friend with her new baby.

Robyn: Abortion is usually the only option when birth control failed. Trust me, it fails all the time. I have two birth control pill babies - both my boys. I should have four birth control babies; but sadly I miscarried two. I wasn't on antibiotics, I took my pill at the same time every day, etc. One pregnancy was occurred while I was on the Depo shot. (My husband was not happy!) I got pregnant with my little girl when I was still nursing my youngest son. My tubes are tied now, if I get pregnant again Im getting a hysterectomy! <br />
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The woman's reason for abortion is irrelevant. The women that are able to make this decision are more responsible than the women that keep their babies only to abuse and neglect them.

i hate abortion, especially when its a means for birth control. i believe the majority of people abort their babies (OK, fetus's) do it for selfish reasons. <br />
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however! i have faith in my religion which teaches abortion is wrong exept for cases of rape, ******, and also when the baby will suffer terribly or have devastating anomilies.<br />
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i can't imagine the pain your friend has gone through. i hope she and her husband have a clear consciense about this. they deserve support, not condemnation.

Troubleshooter: I read that post and I completely agree with you and VendettA. <br />
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Im an atheist so I couldn't care less what any church says. I find it terribly disturbing that churches attempt (sometimes successfully) to interfere with people's healthcare. When a paster/priest earns their MD then they can offer a second opinion. Until they they need to keep their mouths like they keep their minds - closed.<br />
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To elaborate on the failures of pregnancy, there are countless of things that can go wrong with a fetus. But there is also a molar pregnancy. That has to be terminated or mom dies. Its cancer. My OB (although not pregnant anymore) estimate that 50 percent of pregnancies ended in natural abortions. However, most women didn't realize they were miscarrying.

The Catholic Church says aborting any pregnancy is murder. No matter how dangerous the outcome for the mother and regardless of the likeliness of the survival of the baby. They were and still are church goers and actually wonderful people.<br />
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The point of this story is to provide a concrete example to support the need for abortion to be a choice for a woman and her doctor. There are too many prolifers whom are too quick to condemn and dont think about cases like these. Forget rape for a minute. Even forget the 12 year old girl whom is impregnated by her father. Abortion is a necessary medical procedure. Last time I checked, I didn't see anyone picketing colonoscopies.

Are you kidding? " The baby had no brain or spinal cord. There was absolutely no chance of survival after delivery". Who ever said that aborting this pregnancy would be murder? Are you just making excuses? The whole point is, it a life is being lived and someone ends it, it is usually called murder. If a life is not being lived, and ends, it is death.

Oh sh*t, I forgot about that miracle thing.