There's So Much To Mention

Since 2 years ago, my look on life and society changed. I used to think that all you had to do is: Be positive.
It was credible for me in my childhood, because there was nothing to worry about. Nothing big, that is.
I finished my highschool with succes, with my buckload of great friends.
I finished every subject above 5,5 (below it is insufficiënt, for you americans.)
I didn't quite know what I wanted to do with my life. The school and society pushed me allot to choose something.
I just had to, because no college, no life, right? That is what most people think here.
So in al the rush I chose to become a... *Drumroll*.. History teacher! Yes people, I like history. But it wasn't a great choice.
After a month or 2 I realized I hated college! Not like highschool. Looking back on it, it was great. So I quit the college.

No, it wasn't that I had so much homework and courses, nor that I hated the 2 hour train ride every (f*ing) day.
't Was allot of thinking. My think positive style didn't feel right here. There was so much to worry and stress about.
I learned all kinds of things that I forgot in seconds. And I just sat there, every course, not paying attention due to everything going on.
The awfull realization of what was to come revealed itself to me. First you have 18-25 years of study, just so you can be drilled to work the rest of your life, untill you are old and useless to society. This whole concept is, in my eyes, retarded. Life can't be about offering your life to work. There's so much beauty in the world to see and mostly, experience. The only experience you get from most jobs is the one fitting that job, so you get better at it, thus you can work harder. You swap your time to work. for money.

Money is another... interesting subject. It makes people greedy. It exploits the poor and improves the ones with money. They become obsessed with it. I wonder if there would be hunger anywhere in the world if money didn't exist. Maybe people would care for other's wellbeing then. Would there be poverty without money, or at least this extreme type? Money is more important then people, seemingly.
The 'smart' ones are, yet the 'useless' ones are left to die by many people. (I.E. Africa) There's people who want to help the weak, but ofcourse, they can't because they need money for so many people. We're the ones screwing them up. It can cause wars, kill people, and obsess entire nations. The economic crises screws everyone over. No money, no crisis. Though the world would be less developed , humanity would be better off without it.

There hating and raging, wars and killing. Bombing and slaying. Nations attack other nations. Millions die in fights that aren't even their fights. Why? Is a life invaluable?

There's lots of these thoughts in my head. They come and go, but never dissapear. Though it may not be completely true, it makes me sick. I'm sure there's plenty to blame society for. It's no rocket science to find that out. The problem it I don't know any better ways to improve it. Even if I did, no one would listen because people love their lives. Living safely in their bubbles of money and family.
I don't find any joy or purpose in it. That why I quit college. My life would participate in all of this by working for society.
The problem is; Society is everywhere. You can't run, you can't hide. Build a cabin in forest and you'll get jailed because someone 'owns'' the ground.

I wish I could get away, but I don't know how.

elvisguitar elvisguitar
22-25, M
3 Responses May 22, 2012

I use to be just like this a few years ago. The conclusion I came up with is that while I cannot control how other people live their lives, I can with mine. I view life as being more than that of my own benefit and to this day, live by this very ideology. To the best of my ability, I try not to contribute to this vain world and everything that keeps it afloat. Rather, I shall only improve upon and ameliorate. Dont get me wrong though, were all doomed at the end of the day, but I seek solace in the fact that I did not contribute to that downward spiral.

We are certainly on the same wave length with this, elvisguitar.
You are not alone.
I find the social frame work we are born in to rather sickening as well.
I hope that one day I will be able to come up with a solution to our crisis but I'm not holding my breath.
All we can do is try to inspire and lead by example, even if it falls upon deaf ears.

Thank you for sharing this.

I agree with what you wrote and are feeling. My situation and thoughts are very similar. Humans are acquisitive and destructive and as much as we may disagree with how society has unfolded, we unfortunately have to play by its rules. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me, or is it that most people are blind to what is going on. Good luck my brother.