I'm Getting Sick of Her Bullshit.

I'm sick of this ****. I'm completely in love with my on-and-off girlfriend for the past nine months. She's the only woman who can say "I love you," "I want to marry you" and "I want to have children with you" the day after she breaks up with me. We've dated for about 6 of the 9 months we've known each other- and we keep breaking up because she "just wants to make sure I'm the one." What the **** is that ****?

Nobody, I repeat, nobody says "I'm in love with this man, and I'm going to marry him. Eventually. I'll just keep this on the back burner for now." I swear, things would be so much easier if I didn't love her so damn much. If she were any of my old girlfriends, I'd just tear her to peices and ******* leave. I can't bring myself to hurt her, though. I look at her like most people look at their limbs. You may take them for granted, but you really can't imagine what things would be like without them in your life. You can't stand the idea of living without them.

The really sick thing is, she thinks of me like that. "I'm just afraid of committing. Whenever things get serious, I leave." How the **** am I supposed to swear to her and god that I will stay by this womans side until my dying day if I can't even trust that she'll stay by mine for more than a few months at a time?

I've been with better lays, and with prettier women- but nobody even ******* compares to her in my heart. It's like I don't even see other women's faces anymore. The idea of being with anyone else is just... unfulfilling. I have no interest in other women anymore. On the flip side, I don't know how many more times I can stand to be 'dumped' before she forces me into the same cool, repressed attitude I have towards all the other women before her.

I'm getting sick of her bullshit.

Esemjay Esemjay
18-21, M
Mar 23, 2009