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Boyfriend Or Not?

Do you know that I only ever want a bloke/some male attention when I don’t have any. The minute I have a bloke on the scene or someone who wants to be my boyfriend, I realise that what I was trying to tell people all along is true, I really do not want a boyfriend.

Sure, when I am in bed on my own, I dream about this rich, caring, bloody gorgeous man who is going to come and sweep me off my feet - by buying me Jimmy Cho’s and whisking me away for exotic holidays and crazy weekend breaks. He will let me leave work and move into his big luxury apartment. Let me spend my days having massages, getting my hair and nails done. He will give me the space to ‘find myself’ by treading up and down Sloane Street in search of the latest must-have-handbag and the drop dead designer dress that is going to make the girls weep when I come back to my home town for a few quick drinks. (Before I go back to London to go out with my ‘boyfriend’ who will, of course, have shares in every place to be in the city, guaranteeing me VIP treatment).

But, well we all know that ain’t going to happen anytime soon.

The thing is, because my friends all have/want boyfriends/girlfriends I feel like I should too – I mean what is going to happen to me when they all decide to settle down properly. For instance, I know 100% that the minute one of my close mates many men want to be with her all the time she is going to be gone in an instant. No messing, I won’t see the girl for dust, my bloke best mate is now is away with his girlfriend and I haven’t seen him for ages.

This isn’t the first set of friends this has happened with, ever since I was 17, I have swapped mates because my ‘going out mates’ have got themselves entwined with the grown up life of babies/mortgages and weddings. Boring, boring, boring!

I am going to be 27 in a couple of months, should I really feel like this? Shouldn’t I have, along the way somewhere, had a relationship that has at least lasted for a year or something, my collection of week and month (I think six months was the longest…way back when I was younger) boyfriends doesn’t quite make the grade does it?

Leyla Leyla 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 31, 2008

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Being in a relationship is definitely not the most important thing, but it really depends on your priorities.<br />
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Let's take me for example, I'm 29 and single and I'm currently dating this girl who is about the same age. To her dating is just going out and having fun. Fun being, "see this guy blow all his hard-earned money on me because I'm awesome!" Why? Because in my country that is what guys like me are expected to do. We wine-and-dine a girl until she consents to being our girlfriend. Then hopefully we become intimate. The length of time of the process depends on how much the guy and the girl are into each other. For me I've gone 6 dates and I haven't gotten anywhere... So why do I do it? Its because having a relationship matters to me... Its so important that I will go to any lengths to be with someone. Not just anyone (I'm exaggerating mind you), but if there is a smidgen of a chance that this girl likes me, then I will play this stupid game until hopefully she gives in. It's expected in my country for the girl to give the guy a hard time, so many of us go through this process, its pretty standard stuff. <br />
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To summarize, the importance of a relationship depends on the individual. People with similar priorities end up clicking together. Hence, if relationships are not as important to you, then your energies are better off spent doing something else. I think relationships are very important to me, which I means I will go through great lengths to be in one, case in point. Hope this helps, unless I have simply confused you further hmmm...