Screw Dating

What happened to the days I was single and could care less? What happened to the days when I was single, didn't care, and men flocked to me ANYWAY?!

I don't know. All I know now is that now that I'm single, I feel only half as good without a boyfriend.

Since my break up, which was a few weeks ago, I still feel hurt and jealous over him. My heart hasnt realized we've broken up. Still, I feel I've cheated myself: He was the first person I ever considered marrying. But, it just wasn't meant to be. I want to move on quickly. But I dont want to rebound anyone. I want to improve myself, but I'm still at that place where I still dont care enough about myself to really change. When I get out of the hell hole of loneliness, then I'll kick my own a$$ into shape. But for now, I'm just not ready.

RitaRee RitaRee 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 17, 2011

Your Response


You know what helped me out? Music. Not depressing music (That EMO stuff has got to go!) but music that resonates with what you feel.

Like you want to heal right? You want to feel empowered? I've got a few songs for you that I've just listened to and they helped me very well :D

Wilson Phillips - Hold On

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

Fatboy Slim - That Old Pair Of Jeans

Christina Aguilera - Soar

The one thing you've got to let go of though, from my current experience, is to forgive yourself for allowing this pain to happen. Believe me. It'll hurt... aLOT to do this, but once you've cried and let it go... It feels SO much better.

Start looking at things around you that you appreciated before you got into the relationship. The little things you used to enjoy, the smells, the sights. These little things add up a whole lot!

You seem like a writer, so I'd write about random stories with an uplifting ending. Or they can just be a continuous stream of words on paper that get better, funnier, and make you feel good as you keep going on!

The pings will keep 'pinging' but they will get less and less. Soon, they won't even phase you. Believe me, in the beginning, I've had this recurring thought of my Ex with her 'new' lover.. not good thought to have.

However, over time, I don't even give a ... poop ... about what or who she does. I'm shifting my focus away from her to myself and with that comes great strength and realization.

If anything, you can always message me about it because I'm still growing and learning just like you are with more tips, tricks, and cheat codes to beat this pain to the ground. :)

You are not alone. A whole lot of it comes with accepting yourself and now that you are exploring your journey again alone.

It is a frightening experience.

I say, go out to fun people events. Where there are a lot of people just having fun, or a tour of some place. Kick back, relax, look at all the things you are still holding on to and see if they are really worth holding on to or letting go.

If you were someone else and saw the relationship you had, how would you respond? What advice would you give yourself?

It all takes time with this sort of 'advice'. You'll look at it now and be like 'Meh, whatever' or 'That's great! I can do this!' and then ten minutes later get that ping of hurt in your Heart that crashes that High Spirit you had.

Don't give up. Know you are going through stages of this and it will all pass. Once it does, you can resume the Life you were meant to achieve; maybe even better than the one you would have had :)

Good skill, sis. You are making progress.

"It all takes time with this sort of 'advice'. You'll look at it now and be like 'Meh, whatever'...and then ten minutes later get that ping of hurt in your Heart that crashes that High Spirit you had."

THAT is exactly how I feel! One minute I'm fine. But later, usually when I'm alone, I feel the pings. They hurt. A lot. I want the pings to die. Quickly. But I dont know how to hurry this process a long quickly enough.