Would You Like A Relationship With Your Life, Sir?

Just went through another couple of experiences in this group and even though obviously every single one of them is unique, if not in its form, then in the author himself, there are still some patterns. There are those who just became singles, most likely trying to get through the limbo of having no partner, and I honestly wish them good luck and hope they get the support they're looking for. There are others, who finished their relationships and promised themselves never to try it again. It's their choice I fully respect, may they find peace in a bit of a solitude. There are other groups, but you'll have to forgive me for not expanding the list. I merely tried to make an introduction.

My point is, there is a group of people who never had the so called "relationship", by which I mean having another person, usually of the opposite gender, with whom you would be willing to spend a significant part of your life (I know this definition is flawed by a number of ways, so I'd be grateful if you didn't make a big fuss about it. This is a topic for an entire series of books, and I hope you intuitively understood what I meant.). More than that, they don't feel a need to have a relationship, or even try one, either due to a vision of impending failure caused by hermitical tendencies, or because of an almost maternal instinct to preserve the solitude they managed to achieve (although by no means I imply that singles are ex lege loners) and an invitation to try a relationship feels like an invitation to try falling downstairs. While being on fire. With your pants down.
It's just uncomfortable.

I'm not trying to make a really big deal of it. I've got family, I've got friends, and I've got their support and understanding. They take the entire, in many ways dysfunctional me, for who I am. There's no need for painfully counterproductive discussions. Still though, as much as I shouldn't give a damn, I am confused by the social tendencies to, well, produce couples. Having a companion, a spouse, it's in many cases so natural no one would even consider rethinking it. Yes, I know how biology works, I am familiar with the word "instinct", and I don't, repeat: don't believe that in all cases it's about making a fetus, or just about the ancient and mysterious art of, pardon le mot, looping an input-output protocol. Saying "I'll pass" to this merry-go-round is sometimes confronted with a polite, patronizing smile, and sometimes simply considered unthinkable. I can understand it and I don't mind, even though I can't be understood myself. There's no whining here, only acceptance.

I wasn't planning on criticizing healthy relationships, neither I'd want more people to be like me, but I don't want to be judged by the standards of modern western society when it comes to relationships. In other words: give me a break, cause I can't be bothered.
Anyways, if you got this far, thank you for reading and I hope I didn't waste too much of your time. Contrary to popular beliefs, it's really hard to open up, even when a certain degree of anonymity is provided. And if my small confession caused any bells to ring in any of you (since it would be pathetically selfish and egocentric to think that this is a completely unique personality feature), I'll just say: cheers.
Lestek Lestek
22-25, M
1 Response Jul 19, 2010

I would like to thank you for your honesty, but I am unclear on one point. Pardon me for asking, but does that mean you don't experience physical intimacy with your chosen gender preference?<br />
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I don't like the relationship idea either, but I must admit that my hormones do run rings around me, lol