Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Yes, That's Right. I'm Single.

I have been single pretty much my entire life...well...unless you count that one week relationship I had in the 8th grade that consisted of holding hands on the bus and walking to class together. So maybe I should just say I've never been in a "real" relationship before. Oh and yes, I'm 22 years old.

Some people say that's sad.
Some even wonder...is there something wrong with you?

I say no. I'm just your average 22 year old girl. Senior in college, no incredibly crazy quirks, no weird obsessions...or anything like that. I'm pretty much for lack of a better word, "normal." Not only am I "normal" but I'm content, at least with my relationship status on Facebook (or lack there of).

In a society that lives and breathes this pressure to be in some form of romantic relationship, I'm pretty proud of myself to actually be able to type this. And not only that , but to type this and honestly mean it.

Sure, I have times where it would be nice to have that special someone. For instance...

Currently, most of my closest friends are either engaged or in a somewhat serious relationship. Being around them, yes, sometimes does makes a single girl want to scream, but it also shows me what they miss out on.

I like being care-free. I like being me.

I like never having to plan around someone else.

And I really like never having to spend extra money.

You may see that as being really selfish, but I just don't have the time or energy to do those things at least for right now.

I really like being single and maybe that's why I have chosen and not chosen to be for the past 22 years.

I see singleness as an opportunity that some people give away, very quickly. Singleness is that time where you get to be selfish and you get to be self focused. It's the time to grow, to learn, to travel, to find out who you are and who you want to be. It's a precious time and I hate that most people disregard how precious that time really is.

I hate how many people see singleness as a curse rather than a blessing.

You know, I may never get married.

Some people are shocked by that and even find it necessary to say "oh no, you'll find someone. You'll meet the right one eventually."

It's not guaranteed people. When you were born, God did not hand you a contract and say by this time and age you will find the right one.

I may never have a husband to share my life with, but does that mean my life automatically is less meaningful?

I sure hope not. How unfair would that be.

So if you are in that place right now. Maybe you just got out of a relationship, maybe you have been single for months and months now and are just waiting, or maybe you are like me and never have even been out on a date--I hope that you don't take this time in your life right now for granted.

I hope you live in this time, and that you don't see it as a "waiting period" but a "living, learning, & discovering period" in your life.

Side note. Being married is not bad. I hope to be married one day too. I just see it as a part of life that I would like to experience, not exactly what I'm going to base my whole life around currently.



abcdefgh19 abcdefgh19 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 8, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

I absolutely applaud and back you up on this one. Awesome!!! Yes I agree we all need to have that single part, the selfish, self centred part, to do as you say, really get to know oneself, be strong in that and learn how to be strong and independent. In today's world its really important and something I tell my own girls all the time. Here's why: I married at 19, rushed into it actually, wanting to grow up and start life so fast and quickly. I missed out on a lot of that growth, strength and character building you only get from being single. As I say to my girls here I am at 36, failed marriage and for the first time really, truly being alone and trust me its a lot harder to do when you have kids and other responsibilities. Don't make my mistakes learn from it, be young, enjoy life, don't get sucked into a committed relationship too young and experience what its like to be on your own. Because its almost like training for later in life, as we all know life happens, not just in failed marriages, but illnesses, people die, we lose loved ones.....and it will be so much easier to get through all that hurt and pain if you already know how to do it alone.

I love that you've written this! I've been feeling the same for a while now. I've never been in a long-term relationship, and that's simply my choice. It really annoys me when people seem to think being single is something to be pitied, or that they need to console you or assure you you're going to "find someone". Being happy where you're at - with who you are, what you're capable of - is much more important than running around struggling to find someone else to make you happy! <br />
<br />
I've had so many friends rushing into long-term relationships, and even into marriage, and I've seen that it often doesn't make them any happier as people. In fact, a number of them now complain to me that they rushed in too quickly, and wish they could've just enjoyed being single!<br />
<br />
So thank you for sharing such a positive outlook! You've expressed it really well. Everyone should enjoy the stage they're at - otherwise when you move on you'll regret not enjoying the things you've lost :)

It can be a good thing to be single, but also a lonely thing in my case. It seems every time I get into a relationship it becomes this huge mess somehow. I am hopeful that one day I will be in a decent, permanent relationship that doesn't involve me changing who I am in the process. Being single is very helpful in allowing one to sort our their life and priorities, though. I am grateful for that.

Very profound!

I enjoyed the way you put being single in such a positive light. Thank you for sharing.