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Please Dont Judge Me Because I Am Single.........

I am a 33 year old female and have had  a string of bad relationships with men since I was 15 years old. The first boyfriend committed suicide, the second boyfriend was convinced I was cheating on him because his jealous friend told him so, the third boyfriend was an abuser of the very worst kind and the fourth was an emotional vampire. All relationships have ended horrifically. Yes, I know breakups typically arent nice but these ended with me being an emotional wreck. There are only so many times that you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start again.

I have heard this string of questions soooo many times (quite often from more mature ladies) :

"How many children do you have?" - "None"
"Oh but you are married arent you?" - " Nope'
"So your engaged then?" - "No"
"But you have a long term boyfriend?" -  "No I dont"

Then the look of disbelief crosses their face.....''So you are single??"

But I ask what is wrong with that? I would much rather be single than stuck in a loveless marriage to someone. It is not a disease to be single. We are just like everybody else. There are many times that I crave the feeling of affection but I have come to the conclusion that I am much better off being alone than hurt in the long run. Everyone says " just take another chance" but Im not going to just hook up with someone for the sake of it, just to be able to say to people I am in a relationship. I think I am just one of those people in life that are just destined to be single and I will try my best to embrace it!!




archangelgirl archangelgirl 31-35 5 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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I've just turned 30 and don't give a toss what other people think about me being single. When we go to family meals, I am the only one who doesn't have a partner to bring (it was over xmas I realsied this!) It was actually my mum who said did I want to bring a mate as everyone would be in couples, I hadnt even thought about it til then.Yet out of the couples, 2 are happy and the rest all have troubles which they put on a front to hide. Why on earth would i want to stay with someone unhappily just so i have someone alongside me at these things?! (i took my mate in the end, we got drunk, went to town after and had a whale of a time!) I've had lots of great and not-so-great relationships over the years but each one has taught me something about myself and what I want/don't want from a relationship. Its certainly shown me that I am not happy to settle for anything unless its so amazing its worth giving up singledom for. being single does not make us 'below' anyone, infact, most couples I know spend most of their time wishing they were free so I consider us the lucky ones!

On my 30th birthday, someone asked me if i was gay, because i wasnt married yet

There seems to be this assumption that if your 30 you should be married or at least engaged.

I have to admit, i do feel the pressure sometimes.

I don't like living alone, and I hate sleeping alone, but I do prefer it to being in an unhappy relationship. I think that its ironic, though, that we seem to appear less attractive to potential mates because we are single; there must be something wrong with us, right?

it seems everyone expects you to be in a relationship. im in my early twenties and people are still surprised im single. or they ask me if i have kids, etc. I think i'm a little young for that, at least by the norm nowdays. Besides just because I'm single doesn't mean I dont date and stuff. It just means im not in a committed relationship atm and thats fine with me.

I have had some good relationships but many bad as well. My ex boyfriend also killed himself but in his adult years. We dated when I was 12years old ( i know, young) but on and off through the years,kept in contact. He was a good man,just apparently had some issues. As far as you being single with no kids, people shouldn't judge. Its not easy finding an honest man these days that we can connect with. There's nothing wrong with staying single until you find him either. I feel I'm meant to be single as well, but still have a little hope that I wont be. Hugs