Family Of Blood And Steel

I served two tours of duty in Iraq. A college professor of mine encouraged me to use my writing as an outlet for some of my experiences. I wrote this poem for an assignment, but would love to get some feedback on here. Please tell me what you think. It is in the form of a Shakesperean Sonnet and is not the type of poem that rhymes all the way through.

"Family of Blood and Steel"

Crouched beneath a shattered wall
Rifle held fast against my chest
Would I be the next to fall
Or would someone else be given rest

Giving no heed to death, I continue to fight
Muzzle flashing, bullets flying, earth shaking
My will bolstered by the men on my left and right
It is for them that I would never break

Freedom, liberty, beloved concepts all
But in the heat of battle it is your comrades that carry you on
Standing together, proud and tall
Brothers who I can always depend upon

We move forward as a group
Forever watching the next man’s back
A single unit melded out of a diverse troop
With faith in the others, we beat off the attack

Battle won, rest earned, sit down for a hot meal
A family forged out of blood and steel
ohslick ohslick
26-30, M
2 Responses May 17, 2012

This is very good I enjoyed reading it. So well written. I think you have a talent for poetry.<br />
Egg

Not sure how this was posted in "I am single" Anyone know how to move it?