It's me. I like company, i like to love, i like to go out and do things with people. But there's a part of me that never wants to stay. had someone ask me once, "why can't you just be happy?"
and thats a good question cuz i dont really know myself. its like i have a mental block on it. i either get bored, or i want to leave before i ever get attached. i keep people at arms length. its like some sort of a reflex i got going on. and its awful to feel that way. i hate that part of myself. im honestly thinking i'm mentally incapable of being in a relationship. and that makes me really sad.
i wonder if i'll ever settle. i wonder if i could find someone who would be perfect for me,.if that could be possible
i have had depression for a while now, so when i get really down, which happens often, i end up either scaring people away or pushing them away. thats usually how it goes down =(
endofseptember endofseptember
26-30, F
6 Responses May 17, 2012

Every experience will make you stronger. Never give up because life is beautiful, you only have to find your best way to live yours.

you are still young maybe your trying to hard,perhaps making friends in short term with guys and letting the trust build slowly so you can go from friendship to more romantic setting.

thanks for the advice but i normally dont stick around that long. its not something i intentionally do, it just happens

i do the same thing its horrible:(

You & I are very alike.

i had a rough breakup in the past. he fell out of love with me, even after we tried really hard to make it work. so after that i just wander on like some sort of rogue. even when i was with someone i loved i just got bored and tired, wasnt ready to settle yet. i hope someone can break me out of this cycle but i just dont know yet. <br />
stuff like this reminds me of the song that says "i fooled around and fell in love". im hoping there's one person someday who really catches my eye

I'm hoping for that one person to catch my eye too

Have you been betrayed by love? Maybe that's why your hesitant .':/ I feel exactly like this but I understand why I'm single as depressing as that is. It's bcuz I hold my self to unreachable expectation expecting the guy to make me happy inside and rid me of my depression.don't look for perfect look for love lol :)