I Know I Won't Be Single Forever

I just turned 28. I have never had a proper relationship with a girl or woman. I was diagnosed with Aspergers 8 years ago and this explained a lot. When I was in school and college I had little if none of my own identity. I grew up watching Saved by the Bell, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, California Dreams and the rest. At school and throughout my teens this is how I thought the world worked. As a result I didn't understand the social rules that surrounded me and everyone around me seemed to understand like breathing.

I eventually realised that this artificial, unrealistic and imported American fantasy didn't even really work or even exist like it was portrayed in America let alone here in the UK, especially in my school among my 11-16 year old peers.

I have since tried online dating websites, asking girls I like the look of for their number and going to clubs etc. Nothing has worked.

Nowadays, while I am looking forward to being in a relationship I am not so desperate that I am willing to go to a club full of people, who I may have a lot in common with if we were to get to know each other in the right setting but meeting in a club just starts us off on totally the wrong foot. And while that may have started many a long lasting and happy relationship, I have learned its not how I want to look for her.

In my opinion, the purpose of marriage is to create a stable, loving and nurturing environment for the raising of children so that they may become upstanding citizens and agents of positive change in this ever advancing world.

So with this in mind, I would like to find someone who is as enthusiastic as me or even more so about creating this environment for our children.

I am looking forward to finding this person, but while I am waiting I am striving to become the person that the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with is gonna be attracted to in spirit, mind and body. I could spend my whole life in this endeavor but when I meet someone whose willing to give me a chance I'll be happy to start a process of growing together.

Thank you for reading my story
Zekastian9 Zekastian9
26-30, M
5 Responses Jul 11, 2012

I just turned 28 also.

I am extremely socially awkward and do not understand people sometimes so I can relate to a lot of what you've said... I would tell you to not worry about finding your love. Sometimes, it comes around when you're least expecting it to. I was always one of those people who swore I would never waste my time by dating in high school (I was extremely studious) and then he came along and changed everything...if I had gone out looking for love I highly doubt I would have found him. Sometimes love comes from the strangest of all places...like your own best friend's heart :)

I'm sure you'll make the right girl very happy :) Keep the faith!

Thank you for your comments and your support peeps.<br />
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I have seen so many relationships go through calm and bad times, and just be so unhealthy and then inevitably end up breaking down around me that although I have none of my own experiences (which undeniably are the most valuable) I feel like I have gained a lot of learning which has drawn out of me some basic common sense and intuition which so many people seem to be lacking.<br />
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You are both so right in everything you say. The foundation has to be strong otherwise how can a proper relationship be built? Communication, honesty, some common ground but also an open mind to new ideas and experiences. Understanding, compassion, empathy, patience.The list could go on forever.<br />
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I just feel so strongly that I could be a really good husband and father. I can just feel it inside me and get so excited by the thought of actually being faced with that challenge and responsibility that I can't imagine that it isn't out there in my future. I can remember as far back as when I was younger than 11 to be having ideas about how I would raise my children and ever since I was not much older I've had ideas about how would treat my girlfriend/wife. I can't remember what they were and if I did I'd probably think they were totally nutty ideas, but I don't see that level of thoughtfulness and enthusiasm for the raising of children and what it is to be in a relationship.<br />
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Inevitably we get use to being in a relationship or having children around if thats our situation but I get the feeling that we're 'taking it for granted' to the extreme.<br />
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I would like to discuss this more as its something that is frequently on my mind.<br />
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Thank you for reading my post and I don't mind if I'm too intense for you... ( =<br />

Wow that was a nice speech and very realistic not too much detail but it was jus enough to get an idea of who you are and what you seek thats what i like about person the ability to keep it st8. I for one believe in love but i know its hard to find am so scared of men my own frens worry for me. I was in a relationship once and the guy was not physically abusive because he knows that he can never raise a hand to me and not pay anyway he was emotionally and mentally which really hurt me so bad my heart shrink i loved him he was the first guy i had a real relationship wit i met him at 18 been together 5yrs hopin things would be better but a time came where i jus knew it was never ment to be. Am hopin one day to find someone for me someone that i can socially relate to and someone i cant do without some one i never feel alone when am sittin beside him some one who is not sex oriented but wishes to build a foundation for a strong relationship my grand mother was married 60yrs before her husband died and she followed 2yrs after. Thats what i seek and she said to me foundation was the key. And when she explain by foundation wow absolute truth she spoke. Am jus like you my fren. Jus hope