Ten Things About Being Single

I'm single. I'm 23 and I've always been single. It's caused by a combination of lack of interest, and lack of opportunity. There are five simple things I like about my lifestyle, and five things I don't like.

Five Things I Like About Being Single

1. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, without worrying about what somebody else has to say.
2. I don't have to do anyone's laundry but my own.
3. My family elders point me out to the younger members as an example of an independent, self-sufficient woman, who doesn't need a man, and makes her own happiness. This makes me feel like a super-awesome messiah for feminine independence.
4. Wrenching stubborn pickle jars open by myself is a good way to work out my triceps. And a good way to show off to non-single ladies, who just give up and hand the pickle jars to their boyfriends.
5. I don't have to share my fuzzy blue blanket with anyone.

Five Things I Hate About Being Single

1. I have to go places by myself. There's nobody to drag along on my wild random adventures.
2. I don't have anyone to share my warm fresh-from-the-dryer laundry with. Putting warm socks on your hands and warm underwear on your head isn't funny unless someone's there to see it.
3. When the kids aren't listening, the family elders cluck amongst themselves and wonder what's taking me so long. I've heard them. This makes me feel like an old maid.
4. Sometimes, it's just faster to hand the freaking pickle jar to your boyfriend.
5. Worst of all...I have nobody to share my fuzzy blue blanket with.
CaffeineAlchemist CaffeineAlchemist
22-25, F
Sep 16, 2012