A Hopeless Romantic But Destined To Be Alone?

Ok let me start off by saying, say I am an absolute hopeless romantic. I am 20/m and am not afraid to admit I dream of having that dream love story. I have only ever had one girlfriend and we broke up about 5-6 months ago after 3 years together. Now I am not by any means a ladies man, but in high school I made it through mostly by saying no to people, I did not want a relationship. I am not forward and don't think I am very good with girls. I could not flirt to save my life but I am usually friends with a lot more girls than guys. I think I just tend to grow on girls from being friends with them. But I never want to be more than friends with the ones who like me. The only girl I ever wanted to be with, I was with her. She set the bar VERY high, I could not have asked for a better girlfriend. She was the nicest person I had ever met, funny, polite, sweet, beautiful, adventurous, she was my best friend and she challenged me! Even though we were best friends and agreed on so much, she pushed me to try new things which isn't always easy for me. The thought of even being around her was enough to put a smile on my face. Now, the story as to how this all came to an end is another story, but where I am at now is I can not get over comparing every girl I meet to her. I moved halfway across the world and have met so many people, so I have gotten out there and met people but my heart still belongs to her, 100%. I don't see myself ever settling down and moving on and it really bothers me. I used to be able to picture my life in an instant. *BAM* I graduate and get a job *BAM* A dream wedding, start a family, family vacations, growing old with my best friend...Now all I see is myself alone. No one has ever even come close to filling the hole I now have inside me. I am afraid I will never be able to love another person again...and I question if I ever really want to? I don't want to love for the sake of loving, I had never felt anything like I did with my ex.
InTheLongRun InTheLongRun
22-25, M
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

Good luck man, I am 20 too and hopeless romantic is an understatement. I flirt with a lot of girls, some more than others, and when I think I found one with whom I made a big connection, they either are already taken or I wait too long, without making any moves since I never think I'm good enough, and they get a boyfriend...

Yea I was lucky once that after long enough of not making the move she finally did but I just can never seem to get myself to do it...The part I really am missing and want is the best friend again...Having that person to share everything with, good or bad

I feel the same..