Such Is Life

I've never really had a successful long term relationship, and my life has been littered mostly with just people passing through. Once, towards the end of high school, I met a girl with very similar interests. I chased her for two years before she finally agreed to give me a chance, and she made my life hell by leaving me and returning every few months until I went to college. Flash forward five years and one degree later. I'm trying to decide what to do with my life, what I actually want to spend my time doing. I have some ideas(though unsure of if I still wish to pursue my degree), but one of my main issues in life is that I may spend the rest of my days single. I've come to terms with it though. I'm detached from most of humanity, which is very difficult to deal with. People don't understand my ideas or motives, nor do they see that I'm happy with the whimsical way that I live my life. I'm too weird, too nerdy, whatever you may call it. I don't have normal conversations with people. I talk of physics, ufology, conspiracy, video games, astronomy, philosophy and such. There are very few friends I can get along with, and even they leave me as I get older. I realize I'm still young, but my life feels so concrete. The thing I want most in my life, a loving long term relationship, is so unattainable. I've lost my flirting edge and lack solid attractiveness. It's not that I'm unhappy. I would say that I have attained inner piece through self reflection and substance use over the years. I acknowledge that my life may just be a story that is the way it has to be. So unsettling that it must be alone.
CommanderPiccard CommanderPiccard
22-25, M
Jan 7, 2013