I Just Keep On Coming Back For More..So lets start by saying that the man I've been in love with for 5 yrs has decided again ( this is his 4 th time) of seeing what else is out there in the world. That's the nice way of putting it but after much convincing it always boils down to he needs to get some "strange" . I was no perfect angel when we met and he 3 yrs younger then me so I made more excuses for him then he did.
So lets make this very long story a lil shorter. This last time he decided it was another time for him to see the what's out there( and of course everytime he swears it's not about finding someone else yet everytime he ended up with someone else lol) he blew thru about 10 thousand dollars ( he finally got some cash from his settlement after not working for 3 yrs) and that's when he's gotta see the world. Well fast forward 5 months later and we are stil broken up and now he's super broke and I would like to say I just ignored his stories of how broke he was but I didn't and I sent him money 2 times in a week. Now, I know he didn't deserve the xtra help from me and I also know he's a jerk for doing me dirty like he did but I couldn't let a friend or even anybody I know go without cigs or gas money or whatever if I can help it. I am always hoping that the gods will remember my good deed and throw me a lil good luck or fortune lol. Anyhow, I just had to stop all contact after I sent that money cause he went out and I didn't hear from him for 2 days and that's cause I financed his day out with his lil girlfriends and it was like a kick to the stomach but then I think about as if he wasn't gonna do that? I kinda knew he was. And yet I did it anyhow. Am I always setting myself up for my own downfall, makes me wonder if he was ever the problem or have I always been my own worst enemy?