I have always been single. It's not that I've ever been asked. I just never came across someone I wanted to be with. Most days, I scoff at the idea of myself being married and I die laughing when someone even hints at the idea of me having kids. Yes, I am young. Anyone older than you always say "oh you'll change your mind when you're older". They said the same thing about me never liking onions and baked beans when I was a kid. Still can't stand them. I doubt I will change my mind. I might find a significant other. It's possible but I doubt it will last. I'm difficult and stubborn to people that want to be closer to me, especially. I know most of they can't take the emotional baggage I'm carrying, the insane depression and trust issues that makes me me. Maybe someone can get past that wall I've made. Maybe they can make a connection to me. But no one ever stays... they'll probably just take what they like and leave like everyone else I've known.

Some days, I wonder if I even have a heart with how cold I am. One guy I rejected and "friend-zoned" said I was a *****. I want to say sorry, but it's a defense mechanism. I won't lie about how I feel. I won't pretend that I like you like that. I can't be the picture in your mind.
Apirne Apirne
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 25, 2014

I know what its like to be left alone. Its not so bad if you enjoy the company.

this sounds like me omg

Hmm sounds like me sorta

rejecting people is a defense mechanism

I think you'll find someone someday, it will probably be the guy friend that always sticks around and never gives up trying no matter how many times you reject him. By the way wanna go out with me:D

I thank you for your optimism, but you don't wanna date me, Dude.

No no no don't worry hun, I got this ok, say it with me, I got this! It's official I'm yo man!! Sorry i like to play around but you might be right or wrong. Either way I'm just kidding;)