Wanting to Find My Special Someone But Scared...

I have been alone and single now for 5 yrs, I was in an extremely abusive marriage that I could not get out of, until he beat me so badly That I was in critical condition in the hospital. It was only then that I could finally expose the inhuman monster that this man was, I still can't believe I was so taken in by his "charm" He was finally arrested for this and I divorced him at last. I have been alone for 5 yrs now, scared to even think of being with anyone ever again. For some reason, I have been thinking lately of how nice it would be to have a normal, loving relationship. I have actually gone on a few dates, and  the old fear of getting too close always seems to pop up, even tho I know in my heart that not all men are the same. I hate feeling like this, and wished I knew what to do. I have met some really nice men but always fall into the same old thoughts and feelings.. I have had councelling but it hasn't seemed to work. I don't know if I need more time or what, I just know that I am lonely and feel like I am missing out on finding someone really wonderful.

singlnurs singlnurs
46-50, F
Mar 10, 2009