And I need some advice. Please only respond if you have genuine advice or something nice to say.

I stared trying a dating app to meet people who live near me. It's going pretty well I suppose. But the problem is I found someone and we started talking and I'm not sure what to do about him. Let me explain...

It was going pretty well. Granted, only well for a few days haha, but still good. I could message him pretty much all hours of the day and more importantly when I could fit it into my busy schedule. He read my profile and saw that I haven't had sex before. He messaged me and asked about it and basically said he wants to sleep with me. He admitted he's always wanted to sleep with a virgin and he finds me attractive. And I was having none of that bullsh!t.

But I thought about it and decided perhaps this could work out for both of us - I could lose it with someone I didn't care about just to get it done with. So we fancied the idea and chatted through texting a bit - both casually and intimately. But he started acting weird and almost manipulative and tried convincing me to send dirty pics. That, and the things we talked about (the dirty stuff) didn't make it seem like we'd be compatible. I told him so and the last thing he said to me was "you're just afraid to have sex and trying to put it off." I stopped responding cause he's an idiot lol.

Now I'm thinking... what if I just tell him it's my way or the highway? If he wants to sleep with me, I call all the shots and make the decisions and try to ensure we both enjoy the experience. Kinda crazy, but it'd be an equal give-and-take of who's using who. I don't even know if this is what I want to do yet. I just know I'd like to consider it. Any advice?
Drag0nMaster Drag0nMaster
22-25, F
11 Responses Apr 16, 2016

your first time will never be forgotten, but you also need to realize that it needs to be somebody that you kind of trust and will not have sex with you and hurt you in the process. Because you are a virgin, there will be some pain. So it needs to be somebody that will be gentle with you and not just thrust it in and tear you open. I know that you would like to have sex and just get it over with, but it is not that easy of a task to accomplish. Just be careful with whomever is your first and not somebody that tries to lay a guilt trip on you to get you to have sex with them. just remember, you are the woman and you have everything that the guy wants. And this is coming from an older guy that is well experienced. good luck in your endeavor

Sounds like a creep! Drop him in a heartbeat and don't give it a second thought.

Dont. Ive had similar thoughts. But you dont know how powerful those feelings can be coupled with manipulation. Meaningless sex does not exist. There are things emotionally and physically that take place during that are ment for intimacy with the one you love. If you do this you will get hurt

That guy is a ****. Stay away, he is a complete loser trying to use you. You are way better off to steer clear an wait until you meet someone caring.

I can see this as not a one time hook up. he will want more after once. if that is OK with u persue him. as for your way or high way is all up to you and how strong you are.

I'd say you could find someone who is not quite such an *******. Find someone you kind of like but not completely. Tell them you are not all that experienced and leave it at that. Then just surprise him with sex on the first date if you really want to lose it.

i think u should leave him.i feel u both are different.better to leave now rather than regreting latee

Oh we're not involved at all. Haven't spoken to him in a couple days.


I would just move on. He doesn't sound ready for any kind of relationship, serious or not. Don't let him drag you down to his level.

Wouldn't it be better to have it with someone you love and loves you? But if you do want it, you're last paragraph would be the best way to tell him. If he can't follow those simple rules then he doesn't respect you.

I think that's a fair assessment. Thanks for your input!

I hope it works out for you.

Thanks! :)

It DOES NOT sound like a good situation to me. It sounds like all that he cares about is getting laid. Wait until you meet someone that cares about you, at least a little! This is no hurry!

There is no hurry*

do what you want