The Adventure Of Recovery

 “The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.” 

Those lyrics really mean something to me today as for the first time I can honestly say. I’ve seen this site many times and never really took it too seriously. I know, I know…shun the nonbeliever, but it’s mostly because I never felt a need to actually connect with people in a way like this before. Up until a few days ago, that is. This past year I’ve had my heart pierced with the dagger of pain twice. The first time was when my girlfriend of little over a year left me for some guy in another state…a she was carrying my child. This left me in a state of chaos, spinning out of control. I felt like I was tossed away into oblivion with the sheer images of her and her new boyfriend laughing at me as he told me that he was taking over my right as a father. And it left me feeling rage, sorrow, defeat, etc…               

 And just when I gave up on hope and was ready to let my depression consume me and give into a nasty thing called suicide, an old love returned to my life and offered me her hand. And she pulled me up from that pit of Hell that I was ready to let have me. She gave me such strength and together we faced my demons and left them in past as I moved on with my life. Problem was…after 8 months of being together she decided she couldn’t handle this and left me when I needed her most as my baby’s mother was laying in the hospital unsure if they baby could be saved. Now take the emotions I mentioned previously and multiple by oh…lets say over 9000…hahaha…it’s over 9000…OH and did I mention I’m only 19? Eh, maybe I’m too young to “understand love” but either way it’s a crappy deal. And I world full time, go to school full time, and this just killed me. I am 19 going on 30 basically. But then I was watching a movie and I felt…inspired. And finally I have a new way to battle my depression…this site. This  all happened last week and I was sitting at work today and read a post by a lady and decided here I am! Today I’ve signed on and ready to try something new. I hope to hear from people and have come here to meet new people, share experiences, and I don’t know maybe connect with someone….we shall see. So if anyone reads this, feel free to send me a message. I want to get to know people and hope to post more soon once I get more comfortable. All I know is it’s a dangerous world outside the door…and if you don’t keep your feet when steeping onto the road, there’s no telling where you’ll be swept off too. But all I know is, I’m diving in and ready to just go on a new adventure

DoubleK DoubleK
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 20, 2010

Thank you. Happy birthday