Don't Have A Girl, Never Had A Girl, No Way To Meet A New Girl. What's A Guy To Do?

EDIT: To everyone saying I should do something, I am. This girl is out of my reach for now. But because of what I went though I'm changeing myself. I've joined an MMA fight club about a month ago and I'm getting good fast. I'm over focusing on my school, I plan to make the dean's list. There are no clubs or extra activites at my PoS school. I will be going to siad major university next semester and I will join a frat. I've been going to random parties with at least 1 person I know even if I'm just crashing it. I've seriously switched from the calm kid who was never hyped up about anything to going absolutly wild. I'm not happy with who I am or the lack of history I have. So I'm liveing my entire high school years in 1 year. This would be my first sober weekend in 5 months.


I assume this is the appropriate place to share my story of WHY I’m still single, and maybe help me answer the question of why I have always been single.

I don’t know why, but I’ve always been outgoing, always been “Hot” (I’ve been told that, I’m not just boasting), And when given the chance I’ve always been fun to be around but all thought out my life I have never had even one girlfriend. It’s not like I haven’t tried, but it just seems I fail at it every time.

So now I’m in college and another girl comes along. This girl completely knocks me on my azz and is like nothing I have ever seen before. She is just perfect. Literally I was into her from her from the moment I first saw her. But because of my inexperience I failed… miserably. I won’t go into too much detail but I will say I had to apologize to her for my behavior. She is still comfortable enough to call me and ask for help on school work, but it's still a very high tension thing.

So now, here I am. Still single. And I’ve changed my focus. I know I love this girl, and if I we’re to just go after women like this, I would fail again. So I’m just going to casually date, get some, and get into the swing of things (no pun intended). I don’t want to be who I was.

But here lies my other problem. I really don’t have any way to meet new chicks who I could date. My “friends” are horribly unreliable for hooking me up with parties going on or just things happening around the University near where I live -- (I go to a tiny community college, there is a major university where most people I know go, it’s about a 30 minute drive form my apartment.) --

So I have no date, not way to find a new date, not even friends I can hang out with on weekends…

BlueJohn46 BlueJohn46
18-21, M
3 Responses Feb 18, 2010

Extra cirricular activities. There's clubs to join at universities and community colleges aren't there? Go directly to dance class (you wouldn't believe the attention you get when you go to a dance club with all your knowledge and bust an awesome move even if you don't meet chicks in training). You meet people by pursuing your interests and sometimes joining clubs based on those interests, you're fun, so go do something fun and you'll meet a fun girl, that's the easy way (and it's a nice slow ride). <br />
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The hard way is approaching people cold and getting some kind of number exchange to happen (I'm kind of a chicken with this, I've been approached cold before on the street though and I was very impressed by it) it usually starts with a comment or a compliment. I'd say your best bet for that kind of activity is striking up casual conversation at conventions, car shows, exhibits, etc, there's literally a million ways to get a number, it doesn't even have to be for the specific purpose of dating outright. Of course I'm in the same boat as you being single and all, I'm just real lazy and don't care much if I get a girl, lol.

Just relax. It sounds like you are putting far too much pressure on yourself to impress this girl. Either you will or you wont, it's just how it goes. You can't make someone fall for you; it's up to them. I know several guys, and a few girls, but it seems to be mostly a guy thing, in similar situations to you, and they all are simply trying to hard and scaring the poor girls off. Just be yourself around her and hope things go for the best. If you really love her then you shouldn't have to worry about natural things freaking her out, although I wouldn't recommend running up and declaring your adoration right off the bat, either.<br />
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Just try to get to know her, spend some time. Give her a little and the tension from the past problem will fade, then when you know her better (because let's face it you can always learn something new about someone) ask her out to a movie or dinner. Well that's my advice for what it's worth, but really you will have to think for yourself, and most importantly just BE yourself.

I will tell you this if you do nothing you wont get what you wont it is better to go for what you wont then not,if you really like the girl you will just go for it, dont let anythink stop you,you are worried that she might not wont that or say no, you wont know unless you do something,if you love someone you got to do what ever it takes to get that someone otherwise it will just pass you by,life is about taking some risks and by doing that the rewards can be good.