Just Because Currently I'm Single, Doesn't Mean I Need Your Pity - And No I'm Not Gay!

I am sick of the 'oh you're single' looks I get. Yes I do date, no I'm not that weird, and no I'm not gay - now **** off and quit sharing you're 'I hate my partner/husband' stories with me..  What's wrong with learning to love me for who I am?

Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody
31-35, F
10 Responses Feb 19, 2010

Thank You Mister C, I appreciate it! I have found that as not everyone sees the humour in which I write, you have and I thank you. I have a long road to hoe and me being me, will not make it any easier. I too was brought up with the adage that one should "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you" - and I try to put this out there everyday. Some days it works, some days it does not. Behind every good man, is a woman trying to decide what to wear.. ;) I too am not sure how much we have in common, but the vibes of well wishes and beauty are there, and therefore so am I. Friends?

LMN (please forgive the arbitrary abbreviation...considering how much I ramble sometimes, it really comes in handy as a space-saver...not to mention a keyboard saver! :-),<br />
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I wish I could properly tell you how much I appreciate your kind words! I guess that makes us part of a tiny mutual admiration society, doesn't it?? I know it might sound hokey & old-fashioned, but my mother taught me to treat people the way I want to be treated. I have dutifully done my best to follow her wonderful advice, and it has served me well in my life. You, my dear, just make it easy to be respectful & kind, because it is what you have offered me in our limited interactions thus far...I can do no less. :-)<br />
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I wish the rest of the world were as open & accepting of people & things that are different as you seem to be. You speak about how I've treated & communicated with you here, and it warms my heart knowing that you get the genuine respect & admiration I have for you, even though we've only been "speaking" for a short time.<br />
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The title of your post is what drew me here & lead me to make my original comment. I have to say that--though the post was short (especially compared to the novels I write here)--you made judicious use of your few words.<br />
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As I noted in my first response, I'm not sure how much you & I really share in common, but I must say that the "accept me as I am & stop making assumptions about me" attitude rings A FEW BELLS with me! That, most certainly, we DO share...which, I believe is at least PARTLY why I get such good vibes from you. That, and the fact that I am a HUGE FAN of females of every stripe believing, understanding & asserting their own innate power in a male-dominated society. This world truly does not have enough VISIBLE strong women in it...and it seems to me that by insisting that the world "take you as you are" that you are doing your part in adding one more to the population!!! As Martha Stewart would say, "That's a good thing!" :-)

Hi, well apparently as opinions are like arseholes - everyone indeed does have one.<br />
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hawk2002 : I learning to be me, those how love me - do so for who I am and no other reason. I'm with Mister C here. How can being something you are born to be, be considered a lifestyle?<br />
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Mister C: Thank you - I appreciate your comments. Feel free to reply! I personally don't care if you are blue, pink, or orange with green spots - how you treat me and have responded says more about the person you are. Thank you, I respect that.<br />
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BurningConjunctiva: Can't please everyone, I see you didn't put anything else - do P.M me if you want to talk. I am learning that I need and have to be me, live true to my own beliefs. How can I be anyone other than me? No one else is better qualified.

I know that this wasn't my post, and I don't mean to detract from the awesome statement that Littlemissnobody has made, but I have to wonder just what hawk2002 meant by "Whether you are as out there with your life style as Mr C; or whether you simply live and let live, your rules".<br />
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I don't take offense easily, and I will admit that I may be misunderstanding the intent of hawk2002's response (where the mention of me is concerned), but I really don't get the "out there with your life style" is concerned, for a couple of reasons.<br />
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First of all, how can my response to Littlemissnobody's post lead anyone to think that I'm "out there"?? It's not like I advocated for public orgies or voodoo blood rituals; I just explained that I grew tired of hiding who I REALLY AM to make someone else happy, and that I was living openly & truthfully. If that's "out there", then I am most certainly & proudly guilty as charged.<br />
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Second of all, the last sentence in hawk2002's post indicates that you're either a live-and-let-live kind of person or you're someone like me, who (hawk2002 assumes) is the opposite of that. Now, how someone who doesn't even know me can say that such a philosophy is incompatible with my own just baffles me. It's a huge (and, in this case, a hugely wrong) assumption to make. If you ask me (and no one did), I think it's quite "out there" to make that kind of statement with as little information about a person as hawk2002 has about me.<br />
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Lastly, it is a great pet peeve of mine to hear/see people describe my (or anyone else's life) as a "lifestyle". Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but I am an openly gay man whose LIFE greatly resembles that of just about any middle-class, working-class heterosexual American...and in the ways it DOESN'T resemble those living heterosexual lives, you'd probably never know or see anyway. Besides, in my experience, the major difference between people like me & heterosexual people is simply the gender to whom our hearts are attracted. Period. Other than that, the vast majority of gay or lesbian people probably live pretty comparable "lifestyles" as our heterosexual brothers & sisters.<br />
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Rant over now.<br />
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Thanks for listening/reading.<br />
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P.S. Littlemissnoboby, I still think you're right: you DO NOT need anyone else's pity, and your question, "What's wrong with learning to love me for who I am? " is still a great one...and one that we all should be asking ourselves! Thank you, AGAIN! :-)

Seems to me you are living life the way you want to?<br />
and as it's YOUR life, that's the way it should be. You have a profession, come with that health warning, have an "interesting" sense of humour and are clearly a great judge of character because you said yes when I circled you! :-)<br />
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Whether you are as out there with your life style as Mr C; or whether you simply live and let live, your rules.

Hi MisterC. How are you? Thanks for your post. No I'm not offended that you are gay. I wrote that because it was something that a question I was asked constantly a few years ago by 'friends' who I'd catch up with and couldn't work out why I was not married with kids..blah blah blah and to tell you the truth, at the time it really bothered me. I felt like an outcast because I didn't fit into any particular group. But now, I am learning differently. I have had some great people come into my life, with whom I would not and could not live without. Through them I have what it is to be loved unconditionally - now I just need to work on reminding myself of this in times when I don't feel the greatest.. x

DAVID MARR AGE61 YEARS YOUNG . A TRUSTED RESPECTED MATURE GENT . AND A RELIABLE FRIEND . THE CORPORAL CONSULTANT . david.marr1948@hotmail.co.uk . FOR ADULT OVER AGE 18 AND UP . DISCIPLINE NEEDS ouch OUCH . YOU ASK WATS WRONG WITH LOVING YOU FOR YOURSELF WHO YOU ARE . I SAY LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS WILL LOVE YOU ALLSO . LOOK AT YOURSELF IN A MIRROR . AND SAY I AM THE BEST THERE IS NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME . IF YOU SAY IT LONG ENOUGH YOU WILL FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF . DO IT EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK . THEN Email me AT david.marr1948@hotmail.co.uk /and tell me how you feel about yourself then . be HAPPY IN 2010 . MY BEST REGARDS DAVID MARR . DO AS I SAY IT WORKS . THINK LIKE A WINNER AND YOU WILL BE ONE . CONFIDENCE IS THE SEXIEST THING A WOMAN CAN HAVE IT IS MUCH SEXIER THEN ANY BODY PART . OR LOOKS . BE THE BEST YOU CAN AT ALL TIMES . TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE THE BEST OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN . YOU WILL BE A WINNER .

Well, I hope it doesn't offend you, but I AM gay.<br />
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Anyway, though it seems we may not share the same sexual orientation, I think we do share at least one sentiment. <br />
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You ask, "What's wrong with learning to love me for who I am?". I think that is an EXCELLENT question! It has taken me many, many years to finally understand that I can't allow the "world's" opinion of me to supersede my own, or to become the basis upon which I see my own value. I used to "live" a "life" in hiding because I was so afraid of what "they' would think of me. "Their" happiness & contentment was my unspoken goal, and I very nearly gave my life for it...but ONLY nearly!<br />
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I used to be a vigilant non-boat rocker. I see now that I sacrificed too many years of my life to count at the altar of Society's Comfort. I put all my life's energy into avoiding offending society's fragile sensibilities for fear of the punishment they might mete out for an unrepentant homosexual such as I. <br />
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But, while a bit older, and hopefully, a tad bit wiser, I still do not seek to intentionally rock anyone's "boat", I no longer fear the consequences of doing so in simply being myself & in living true to my own heart. <br />
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If "they" have a problem in me being me, the problem is theirs, not mine.<br />
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So, when you ask "What's wrong with learning to love me for who I am?", I say not a damned thing. Sometimes in life, it's gotta be ALL ABOUT YOU!<br />
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:-)

hmmm..been called a few things 'feisty' not one of them.. I can be though I suppose. Inked and feisty..better

feisty littlemiss not saying a word