I Am Single And Lonely

I am also kind of irritated with myself. I work about six days a week and it's shift work. For two weeks I will be on Afternoons and the next two weeks it will be days. When I am on Afternoons, I have no time at all for even my friends let alone going out to meet someone. When I am on Days, I am too tired at the end of the week to want to do much, even though I do try. Last summer, I had all the time in the world because I wasn't working. I went out with my friends every weekend and had fun. I also complained a lot that I was single. I am irritated because last summer, I had the time to go out and meet guys if I had really made the effort, so I don't know why I never did. Now I don't have the time, and when I do, I am too tired to care. However, I live with a couple now and although I am always surrounded by people I feel even more alone. At work I hear people talk about their marriages or boyfriends/girlfriends and then I go home to a couple.

I wish so much that last summer I would have taken advantage of the time I had. Instead, I spent all my time being depressed about not having a job, living alone, and being single...



Which also bothers me. Right now, I am surrounded by friends all the time, I am rarely left alone (a year ago I had no one in my life at all because I didn't have any friends, I lived alone and I never saw my family, and I was jobless) I live with people, and I had a job, making good money. I am lot better off then I was in the summer, and this time last year. So I don't understand why I am still feel so lonely and unhappy. A year ago I would have been happy to be working six days a week, and even last summer I would have felt the same way. The only reason why I am upset is because I am not in a relationship.

So I have no idea what is wrong with me. I should be happy about the life I have now. I am a lot happier than I was last summer or even a year ago, I can admit that, but I still get lonely, especially living with my friends. I wish I was in a position financially so I could move out on my own again, but then I would miss them.

 

I think what actually bothers me the most is that I am 23, I will be 24 in September and I have never ever been in a relationship. So I don't think I am actually that lonely at all since I am always surrounded by friends, and I have made new ones, I think it's my lack of experience that bothers me.

 

I wish I knew why I didn't bother to try and find someone last summer when I had the chance. I can't figure out what was wrong with me,. I had the time, so I should have.



I've tried doing online dating but I've found I don't like it. Some people at work have offered to help me find someone, I am thinking about taking their offer up. I really don't want to be a 24 year old virgin. That would be horrible.

Ashley868 Ashley868
26-30, F
Feb 28, 2010