I Am Back...again

So here I am, again.  I thought that I was going to have to check out of this "experience"...met someone that I really liked. But, of course, it went down the drain pretty quick. Am amazed at how easily and fast I get wrapped up in these crappy relationships! I think I should accept the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life! I am too old to play these stupid games, too tired to keep trying, have too many walls built up around my heart to trust anyone anymore. The sad fact is I want to be with someone. I think I need to let that go. JUST LET IT GO! shed tears for it, mourn it...and make a life for myself alone.   How do I let go of that hope...I dont want it anymore!  I dont want to hope for something that isnt ever going to happen.   Im tired of crying over these things.  I want to be happy just being alone. How do I do that?  How do I just say that it isnt worth the trouble anymore, that I dont want to be hurt, that I dont want to trust, that I dont want to love anymore???!!!

darkskye darkskye
36-40, F
5 Responses Mar 9, 2010

That's totally normal to do, and understandable, you have everyright to do that. And maybe, you SHOULD play hard to get. It'll weed out the guys who "want" you, and the guys who want "you", if you catch my drift.

And that is EXACTLY how I feel too. It's horrible! And now having been through all those bad experiences I feel as if it's preventing me from meeting that one nice guy because any guy that comes into contact with me now, I feel like they will do the same to me and I just push them away, don't open up much anymore. I don't know what to do you know, it's like I want to be interested in you but then again I don't know if I can. I've been through too much pain, been hurt over and over again..how many more times do I have to go through this? But I guess it's just in our human nature to love and be loved. Maybe if we were very independent and successful, that's when you don't really need a "dog" to make you feel happy and make you feel loved.<br />
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I wish you luck in finding the right person who will treat you right.

I'm not going to say I fully understand, because I'd be lying. There are things going on in everyone's mind that no on else can comprehend, and that includes you. So what I can say, is that I believe that you can find the right person out there... the one that just want to help, and will smile whenever you need it. And of course, cuddle, and do whatever else makes you happy. Point being, he's out there... looking for you too.

I'm not going to say I fully understand, because I'd be lying. There are things going on in everyone's mind that no on else can comprehend, and that includes you. So what I can say, is that I believe that you can find the right person out there... the one that just want to help, and will smile whenever you need it. And of course, cuddle, and do whatever else makes you happy. Point being, he's out there... looking for you too.

I feel EXACTLY the same way you do Darkskye, to a tee! I had spent much time trying to come to the realization that I'd be alone for the rest of my life unless I significantly lower my standards, which I refuse to do. I was almost there, almost at the point of accepting my fate and there was a certain peace in that. Then I met someone who I thought was special, after years of not having anything worth while, dating a few girls here and there but with no luck I had finally met someone whom I really liked and who treated me the way I like to be treated, reversing my aforementioned "acceptance"....until after a few months, she just up and decided that I wasn't the right guy for her(her words), no explanaition just over. Now it's back to square one.<br />
I feel like you do, tired of being alone and unloved but having no way to fix it, tired of false hope, tired of wanting, tired of dating and stupid games, tired of dwelling on it. It's gonna be a struggle but in order to have peace it has to be done.<br />
If you find a better way, let me know!