What Is Wrong With Me???

What is wrong with me, what the heck am I doing wrong?? Is it my lack of social experience? I've never really had a REAL boyfriend. I'm a very quiet and shy person, so maybe that's why it's hard for me to be with someone..but I'm not that way once I open up and get comfortable with the other person. I'm very fun and outgoing. My first, I guess boyfriend who I met online (laame), we've been together for about 3 years and really loved each other. I was young then plus it was a long distance relationship from the beginning. I moved, my eyes opened up to a new world and I realized he was not the right person for me. Afterwards I got my first job, met people there. I mean I always have guys coming up to me, wanting to have something to do with me, and before I was easily attached to any guy because I had no experience with guys at all! The first boyfriend guy was my first guy contact, first for everything. So here was the very naive me not knowing anything, just falling for horrible guys. All guys I've been with from then on was all the same, would tell me we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but it did not feel that way. I felt as if they just did what they could to get in my pants and once they did nothing else really mattered anymore. And these all lasted only few months and it was over, another few months then over again. Maybe because they knew I wouldn't do anything with them unless I was actually going out with them. Or maybe I was meeting the wrong kind of guys, which I'm sure I was because the places I was meeting them..yeah. And then whenever I actually liked the guy and he did too, as soon as it seemed like it was getting serious they would tell me "oh, I'm not ready for a relationship," blah blah excuses excuses. Then I would have to move on like always. I'm not desperately going to cling onto a guy or go after him if I know he's not into me and it's not going to work out because I just see it as it's not meant to be. So I keep myself strong and forget about them because it was all an experience and I've learned from it and made me stronger. I've been hurt and used wayyy too many times! It's like I do want to find someone to be in a relationship with but then again I'm too scared to be in one. Now it's like when a guy shows interest in me I don't open up anymore, I have a thick wall built around me and that makes them think I have no interest in them, it's just I don't want to go through the same experiences over and over again and I close myself up. I feel like I'm getting older and I still have nobody and it'll probably be harder to find someone in the future! I tend to attract the wrong kind of guys and whhyy?? Do I have to be extremely ugly to find a really good guy? And the type of guys who are all into me are not my type! I mean they are very very nice but I don't feel attraction at all towards them :( it's sad because they don't seem the type to do what the other bad guys did..maybe I have attraction towards bad boy types ughhh. What the hell are wrong with guys?! Are there any nice, trustworthy, honest guys out there?? Everyone seem to have somebody, everywhere I look there's couples. Couples of different shapes and sizes. People who (not to be judgemental) look like they could never find anybody even has someone! Now I know looks don't matter. A good personality defnitely makes one appear attractive. I have done soo much for them, I showed care, I was always there for them, I've been nothing but sweet and yet they don't want to have anything to do with me! They tell me they have a lot of fun spending time with me and yettt they don't want anything! What else do I have to dooooo! Maybe being that way makes me look sad and low and it makes them drift away from me..but I can't help it when I like someone of course I'll care for them and stuff.

...I just feel like I will never find anybody..

kittiex3 kittiex3
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 10, 2010

You have no experience with men. And the ones you have been seeing have no experience with women either. Look at it this way, if you were to take a job as a brain surgeon, could you do it without knowing anything about it? And in many ways, dating is more important than being able to know where to cut and suture. Because it is more about you than anybody else. I'll tell you what I told my own daughter (which she ignored, and is now paying for it). When she was in high school, I told her to date as many guys as she could. Learn about them, and understand how to read the signals. A man will tell you everything you need to know about himself in a very short amount of time, and we don't even know we are doing it. I went on to tell her that any reputation she got would stay here after she graduated and left town. Reputations don't follow you unless you take them with you. She could have walked away with an education that would serve her for the rest of her life. Had she listened. She called me the other day, and reminded me of this very thing, and said she should have listened to her old stupid dad. It's too late now, and she is married to a sad excuse for a man who told her what she wanted to hear. Worked out well for him though, because he doesn't have to work, or help around the house, or anything else. She has a child to raise in this loser. And she does regret it.<br />
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My strong suggestion to you, Kittie, is to date date date. Forget about relationships. In college, you are not putting your education to practical use. You do that after you understand the material. Put that same theory to your life, and you WILL be happy, because you WILL make a good choice.

I guess I just want to find someone who will accept me and love me for who I am. But I definitely am not looking to be in a relationship. I don't want to be with someone unless I know for sure that he is the one, I don't like to just go out with someone for a few and waste all my time on someone who wasn't the one. And yes I do believe I'm still pretty young but it's like all these other people younger than me and around my age has been with someone for a long time already or are married..which I think is too young! but yeah..anyway I don't trust guys anymore.

First off your way to young to be so worried about things like that, One day you will find the right man for you and he will be thinking the same thing, she is so right for me . It takes time and sometimes some heartache. Only through lifes exsperiances do we learn this.<br />
Just be yourself and one day someone will love you for it. <br />
never try and be something or someone your not. <br />
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I don't know why, but people really haven't been opened up to what love truly was meant to be. I just broke up with my girlfriend (Online) after ANOTHER breakup with what I thought was the love of my life (online)... till she dumped me for her ex... Anyways, point being, love can be found anywhere, online or off. You shouldn't care what people say, because in the end, it's you who makes the choice. And yes, there are guys out there that don't just want sex, guys who like you for who you really are. You just... gotta find'em. ^.~

You and me both, sister.