Not Terrified, Perhaps Too Lazy

I don't know what it is, but I have a lot of trouble wanting to have a guy sit next to me when I watch TV or a movie or something. I prefer hanging with my girlfriends, as I don't need to put up a front. Also, am very uneasy when I need to wipe my nose and a guy is around. I don't believe I'm scared of being with someone, just too lazy or unwilling to be what some guys might want. I'm only a little bit sexy and have a relatively pretty face and I'm constantly comparing myself to other skinny beautiful girls. It's like I have to run against them to win boys. I know that's not true, and most of them are very decent people, but I always have to know that I have something they don't (besides a plethora of extra fat under my skin).

Quite difficult to understand completely; I always want to cancel when it comes time for a date. Perhaps I've gotten too used to being single (???). I don't want to check my makeup every five minutes when I'm with someone. I want them to accept me and look past the physical stuff, even though the physical stuff happens to be the only thing most guys are interested in at this age (teen years, ugh). I just don't think any of that fluff is worth it. I've discovered a little while ago that I don't want to have a relationship until I'm where I want to be in life, i.e. in my own apartment, steady job, content, with friends.

High school is the perfect example of the place to NOT get into a relationship. Some kids can adapt and move on, some will kill themselves. Romeo and Juliet used to charm me beyond belief but these days (with my new cynical self) I find it rather pathetic. It's essentially a tale about two teenagers, crawling with angst, hormones raging, who imagine they're in love and kill themselves. Ridiculous. Not at all appealing. But yet, many people compare their perfect romance to that: loving someone so much you could just kill yourself if you had to be without them. And miscommunication! Just think of all the grief rumors cause, especially false ones. Just as I said before, worthless fluff. Unless anyone can provide evidence to argue against my opinion, I will retain it. I'm not anti-relationship forever, it's like a time-release thing. When I'm secure in life, I'll get into it, but not now. How can you know what's real when you're stuck between childhood and adulthood?

Anyway, will think more upon it later. Much rather read about it than try and figure it out myself.

HotPotatoeDahling HotPotatoeDahling
18-21, F
3 Responses Apr 9, 2007

Hello there, HotPotatoeDahling. 1) being what others want is kinda silly and you'll find yerself wasting a lot of time and energy on such things. now, well, 1st and foremost is figuring out who and what u r! then u can b what u wanna b- there is some real magic there now! I guess I really can't relate-I'm speaking generationally. I don't know, times have really changed. Girls want to look and dress sexy earlier and earlier in life. I can tell ya- that model kindof thin is way over rated.- There are enough guys that go after those kind of women. To each there own. When I see women like that- I see a lot of maintenance! And make-up is way over rated also. Everyone or a lot of people are out there trying to be and look like someone they aren't. :( Guess I'm just a little old-fashioned. Hell, I don't know- just b yerself and you'll b alright! Hey, good luck ta ya and God bless ya! just a note: but a lot of people out there only hate because they aren't that happy with themselves, or it's an ex<x>pression of their own immaturity. Take care :) HotPotatoeDahling

I thought similar thoughts at your age.<br />
It's good that you think for yourself and are open to new ideas, even if you do not accept them.<br />
If you are happy without being in a relationship, I think that is a VERY good sign. I have discovered over the years that happiness is something you find in yourself, and you can share that happiness with the one deserving, in time.

This is smart yet... not so smart at the same time. I understand you may be used to being single however. I believe you can fall at love in your teenage years. I believe that it does not have to be fluffed up or anything. I want a lot of of my life, college, a partner, a wonderful career and so on and so forth. Right now I have, A wonderful partner, One more year till college... and a plan for my future. I believe that "teenage" love grows with you. I guess you can say into "adult" love. Yet that still sounds like ageism. Who knows. Yet I liked reading this.