It's Easier Now...

Sex is the one thing we've always had...perhaps because we got our start that way is the reason it so eloquently failed.
    Do I still love him? Absolutely. But for the first time in the six months since it really ended, and about two weeks since I actually accepted it has ended, I feel free. It's like I trust him more now that I don't have to trust him. I appreciate what he does because I no longer am insecure about his intentions.
    The feminists would chastise me, I think. Upon closer examination, I don't feel I'm being taken advantage of. I feel like I'm getting what I want out of life. I had myself convinced for some time that it was he him that I wanted, him I wanted to spend my life, when in reality, I know he's not good enough for me. I know I wasn't myself falling all over him and chasing after him for something I knew he couldn't give and something I didn't want from him.
    So I am pursuing my own interests while getting from him what we're still good at. And I have something else on top of all of that that he and I haven't had in some time that I didn't think was possible: we're friends. Honest to goodness friends.
    And I like that a lot.

**UPDATE** not anymore -sigh-
KarmaFred KarmaFred
18-21, F
May 18, 2007